


Into The Water

by Spike_1790



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Implied Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-28
Updated: 2012-08-15
Packaged: 2017-11-04 11:35:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 30,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/393381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spike_1790/pseuds/Spike_1790
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike Giles and Xander Harris are captains of the swim team. What will happen when they go to LA for a competition?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Listen up, ladies! Teams A _and_ B have qualified for the regional competition in Los Angeles next month,” the coach had bellowed to the nearly empty gym. A few boys gave half-hearted high fives and a few more managed a smile. It wasn’t that they weren’t excited- they had just been training for too long to want to do anything more than sit on the floor and try not to fall sleep.

Coach Mcallister was a large man, standing nearly 6 foot 6, with wide shoulders and a nose that had clearly been broken more than once. Before taking on the job at Sunnydale High, he had been a football player. A nasty injury to his back had put him on the bench for nearly a year, and by the time he was well enough to play again, a dozen younger, fitter boys had had the chance to train up to play. He had been replaced, rejected, and told to keep in touch with the team. He didn’t.

A few months of wallowing in self-pity later, his brother had thrown down the job section of the local paper and told him in no uncertain terms to get his act together. A week later, he had had an interview with Sunnydale High, and when September rolled round, he was the brand new gym teacher. Bernie Mcallister pulled no punches. He was a tough coach, and had taken over from the old swim team coach when the man had been accused of spiking his team’s drinks with performance enhancing drugs.

The swim team had had barely enough members for one team, but thanks to a recruitment drive, there were now enough people for two full teams plus substitutes. Mcallister knew he came across as being tough and a bit of a bully, but he simply wanted the boys to succeed. Hour long after school training sessions had turned into three hour long sessions and had been supplemented by lunch hour sessions three times a week. If he was honest, he would have had the boys training _every_ lunch time, but the principal had disagreed, saying that parents would complain if their children were so exhausted from swimming that their grades started to slip.

The letter from the organisers of the National Swimming Competition had made his day. It was proof that he was doing his job well. Swimming wasn’t his passion, but sport was sport and winning was winning. His goal was to have _his_ team’s trophies in that cabinet, next to the cheerleading and football ones. Of course, the footballers and cheerleaders still ruled the school, but the swim team now had enough respect that they wouldn’t be pantsed in the corridor or pushed down the stairs. Mcallister suspected that had something to do with the muscles his boys had, but probably had more to do with the smell of chlorine that one of the boys from last years team had said took nearly a month to completely dissipate, even with twice daily showers.

“Remember to pick up a permission slip on your way out. If your parents don’t sign it, you don’t go with the team. Got it?” A number of nods and muttered ‘okay’s had met his words as the boys rose to their feet, slinging school bags and sports kits over their shoulders and shuffling towards the door.

That had been nearly a month ago. Now, stood in front of the coach that would take them to LA and the victory he so desperately wanted, Mcallister was worried. He had had to rearrange the teams a bit to deal with the fact that a few parents hadn’t given permission, and they hadn’t had time to train with the new team layouts. Still, his team captains were the pick of the bunch- strong boys, good swimmers and natural leaders.

If he was being honest with himself, they had struck lucky with the funding they had received. The mayor had pledged to invest more money into sports, and the money the swim team had got had been enough that only twenty dollars per student had been required from parents, and that was just to cover insurance. Throwing the last of the boy’s luggage into the storage compartment under the bus, he prayed to whatever god was listening and liked sports that they could win this round and get to the next level of the competition.

In the bus, the boys were shifting in their seats, turning to talk to their friends and throwing things at each other. Mcallister rolled his eyes, stuck two fingers in his mouth and let out a piercing whistle. With all eyes on him, Bernie Mcallister started talking.

“Listen up. Firstly, I want you all to thank the driver for taking you to LA.” A chorus of ‘thank you’s echoed down the bus. “Secondly, the funding from the mayor means we’ll be in a hotel rather than a hostel. You will be sharing four to a room, except for myself and Mister Clarke, who has kindly agreed to chaperone. We will be in rooms 220 and 221. Make a note of it. I wont have you disturbing other patrons of the hotel, got it? Harris and Giles, as team captains, will be sharing a room. If you have questions about the competition, and can’t find either myself or Mr Clarke, talk to Harris or Giles. They will be in room 222.” Mcallister proceeded to read a list of surnames for each room, occasionally barking instructions for various boys to stop talking or to spit out gum.  

The bus set off for LA. The boys chatted and laughed and did what they did best- be teenage boys. It was enough to give Mcallister a headache that was bordering on a migraine. No matter how much he wanted the swim team to win, he had forgotten how damn _loud_ boys could be when they weren’t focused on swimming. Right now, with a bus full of lively, talkative, teenage boys, Mcallister wondered if he would be fired for slipping sleeping pills into their drinks just to keep them quiet for a while.

  



	2. Chapter 2

Xander Harris was sitting near the front of the bus. As captain of B team, he was insanely happy that they had got this far. Both teams were good, but B team was B team for a reason. He had been on the swim team last year, and had hoped to be the captain of A team, but he had had a bad day at tryouts for the new teams and had been relegated to B team. Right now, that didn’t matter. He was psyched to be going to LA, even if that meant battling travel sickness to get there. He had taken enough motion sickness pills to make him drowsy and was now staring out the window, watching cars pass them, headed in the other direction, back towards Sunnydale.

He had lived in that town his whole life. He knew every street and at least one person living in every street. He lived in the okay part of town, which wasn’t far from the good and bad parts, but that wasn’t the point. His best friend, Willow, had been thrilled for him when she found out about the trip to LA. The only problem was the captain of the other Sunnydale team. William Giles. Also known as Spike.

The blonde had breezed into school on the first day of term and had immediately been accepted by the popular crowd. Everything about Spike screamed ‘bad boy’, from his platinum blonde hair to the heavy boots he wore. And the worst part was, Spike seemed to be friendly with Liam O’Connor, the guy who had made Xander’s life hell from the first day of kindergarten onwards. Spike’s English accent had all the girls, and a few of the guys, at school drooling. Liam’s popularity and prowess as a footballer had much the same effect. Between the two of them, they had narrowed Xander’s dating prospects to damn near zero. Not that they had been much better than that to begin with.

Xander glanced over to the opposite side of the bus. Spike was sat with his back to the window and his feet on the seat next to him, making sure that no one would sit next to him. His eyes were tightly closed. The cell phone in his hand made an annoying chirping noise. Spike’s eyes snapped open, bringing the phone up to read the text he’d received. The look of boredom disappeared and a smile took its place. Xander had a feeling that the message had been from Spike’s girlfriend. Xander rolled his eyes and went back to looking out the window.

***

When the bus pulled up outside the hotel, Spike was the first out. Xander had to admit that the blonde was looking a little green. Coach Mcallister was looking a little concerned, but Spike waved him away, taking a few deep breaths and a few slightly wobbly steps.

Mcallister whistled again to get the boy’s attention. “Team captains over here. Hand out luggage to the other boys and then we can get checked in.” Spike and Xander shuffled over to the luggage hold and helped distribute various bags and cases. When the last bag was out, Mcallister shut the hold and slapped the side of the bus, letting the driver know that everything was sorted. The bus drove off in the direction of Sunnydale and the boys and their coach headed into the hotel.

“Welcome to the Hyperion,” the chirpy blonde behind the front desk said as the group crossed the lobby. “If there’s anything you need during your stay, let us know.” Mcallister accepted the room keys from the outstretched hand and began distributing them between the boys. Xander was too busy looking around the lobby to notice when Mcallister called his name and threw the room key in his direction. Luckily, Spike had pretty good reflexes and managed to catch the key before it hit Xander in the head.

“Everyone up to your rooms, get yourselves settled and we’ll meet back here at seven for dinner. Get gone!” The boys followed their coach’s instruction, and headed over to the wide staircase. Every now and then, boys would break away from the group, having located their rooms, leaving the rest to walk further down the corridor.

Xander waited outside room 222. Spike had the key and was taking his time. Xander knew that the blonde was a good captain, and made sure the boys were okay. A few of them had cornered him and were asking questions. Spike looked like he was trying to stay calm, but his patience was obviously wearing thin. Eventually, Spike told the guys who were questioning him to write it down and push the paper under his door so he wouldn’t forget to ask Mcallister their questions.

Finally free, Spike made it to the room and unlocked the door without saying a word to Xander. The room was huge. Two double beds dominated the room. Xander didn’t bother to ask Spike which bed he wanted- he just dropped his bags on the one nearest the door and left the other one for Spike. Checking out the other doors, Xander located the closet and the en suit bathroom. Spike was sat on the bed, cell phone back in his hand, typing out a text message, a smile lighting up his face.

Since Spike had joined the school, he had not spoken more than twenty words to Xander, despite them both being on the swim team. Now it was just plain awkward, what with them sharing a room. Xander cleared his throat. Spike glanced over at him, and Xander realised that he didn’t know what he was going to say at all. When Spike’s attention was back on the phone, Xander took some time to think. Every conversation starter sounded stupid in his head, and would probably sound even stupider out loud. Finally deciding to just go ahead and bite the bullet, Xander cleared his throat again.

“Spike?” His voice squeaked more than he wanted and he cringed internally. The blonde looked at him, waiting for whatever was going to be said. “Uh, I know we’re not friends, and I’m not entirely sure what you have against me to begin with, but, uh, maybe while we’re here we would maybe pretend to get along? As we’re sharing a room?” Spike just stared at him, and Xander felt his face redden under the scrutiny.

Eventually, Spike shrugged. “Yeah, okay.” Xander flopped back on the bed, feeling drained. Something about Spike made him constantly nervous, like the smaller man could break him in two with just a look. “I don’t have anything against you, by the way. I just assumed you had something against me, what with the death glares you kept sending me an’ Liam.”

Xander sat back up. “Oh, those weren’t directed at you, just him. He’s picked on me and my friends since forever. I hate the guy.”

“Fair enough.” The soft swoosh sound of paper being pushed under the door stopped anything else being said. Spike groaned and made a half-hearted attempt to get up before flopping back down on the soft conforter. “I’ll get them in a bit. Right now, I’m staying here and trying not to fall asleep.” At Xander’s quizzical look, Spike explained, “if I sleep now, I won’t sleep tonight and won’t be at my best for training tomorrow.”

“Ah, I just rely on caffeine and chocolate to keep me awake. Works like a charm.”

Spike laughed. “Yeah, it does.” Pushing up off the bed, he walked over to the door and picked up the slips of paper. “Peterson wants to know if we’re allowed girls over. I don’t think that really requires an answer. Mcallister would have our balls if he found us wasting energy on sex. Davis wants to know if there’s a vegetarian option for dinner. There better be, or I’ll be pissed. And hungry.” Spike scowled at the paper in his hands, like it had personally offended him.

“You’re vegetarian?” Xander asked, more as a way of making conversation than anything else.

“Yeah, vegetarians taste better,” Spike said, grinning slightly. Xander blushed.


	3. Chapter 3

Xander was distracted all through dinner. From his seat next to Xander, Spike had read the questions out to the group, not mentioning names. As it turned out, he had been right about the coach’s take on bringing girls back to the rooms, and that yes, there was a veggie option. They ate in companionable silence, more content to shovel food down their throats than to make small talk. Xander only ate half of his steak, claiming to be full after only a few mouthfuls.

To his surprise, it was Spike who speared the steak off his plate and within a matter of minutes, it had been reduced down to the bone and a thin strip of fat on the side of the plate. When everyone had finished eating, Mcallister barked a few more orders and the guys retreated to their rooms. When the door was shut behind them, Xander gave in to his curiosity. “What happened to being vegetarian?” 

“Angel’s got me on a strict diet, but the old saying is true- what they don’t know, can’t hurt.”

“Angel? Your girlfriend’s name is Angel?” Xander looked incredulous.

“I don’t think he’d appreciate being called my girlfriend,” Spike smirked.

“Angel’s a _guy?!_ What kind of parent names their kid Angel? _”_

“It’s a nickname. Like my given name isn’t Spike. Although I’m trying to find a way to make it my legal name… Anyways, he’s got me on a veggie diet, says it’s better for my health with all the training, but I’m a firm believer in ‘stomach wants, stomach gets’. Sometimes, nothing in the world sounds better than a greasy hamburger, over-salted fries and a drink with enough sugar in to keep you hyper for hours. Got to be a reason for wanting it, right?”

“That makes sense. So you saw steak and thought ‘yeah, that would really compliment the massive salad I just ate’?”

“This is the first time I’ve been out of his sight long enough to get some real food into me.”

“You must be close?”

“Something like that.” The way Spike said those words made it clear that that particular topic of conversation was over. “I’m going for a shower. If my phone goes off, leave it. Especially if its one of the cheerleaders.”

“Got it. No cheerleaders.” Xander lay back on the bed, folding his hands behind his head and enjoying the feel of the comfortable mattress beneath him. However, something about what Spike said was bugging him. He just couldn’t quite put his finger on it. When the shower started up, Xander sat up on the bed, paused, stood up, and sat down on Spike’s bed. Picking up the cell phone from the table, he located the Inbox and read the first few messages from ‘Angel’. He nearly dropped the phone in surprise. From the looks of things, Spike and Angel were a little more than ‘just friends’.

Some of the messages were explicit, going into detail of the things he wanted to do to Spike’s body, and the things he wanted Spike to do in return. Xander’s brain provided a helpful image of Spike jerking off in the shower to the memories of these messages. His face reddened again, and he made sure the phone was back to the menu it had been on before he had picked it up, then carefully put it back in the exact same spot it had been in before. The water shut off just as Xander made it back to his own bed.

A few minutes later, Spike wandered out of the bathroom, dressed only in a towel tied loosely around his hips. His platinum blonde hair was slightly curled and dripping wet, causing tiny rivulets of water to run freely down the well-muscled back before soaking into the edge of the towel. Xander pretended not to notice.  That lasted until around about the time Spike dropped the wet towel to the floor and stood next to the bed, rummaging through the bag of clothes.

“What the hell, Spike?!”

“What?” Spike looked genuinely confused.

“Why are you naked? You couldn’t have kept the damn towel on for anther thirty seconds? Geez!”

“What’s the problem, Harris? We see each other in damn near nothing every day, not to mention in completely nothing in the showers after.”

“That’s different. That’s sport. This is… I don’t know. But it’s not the right time for nudity!”

“Oh, give over. I’m not going to do anything sinister. Just gunna find something to wear, and then go check on the others like Mcallister said to.” Spike located a crumpled pair of sleep pants from the bottom of the duffel bag he had brought with him, and an oversized sweater. Something about that sweater was familiar, but again, it was something Xander just couldn’t place… Until he was stood at the doorway next to Spike and could smell the lingering aftershave on the clothing. After all, when you get picked on buy a guy for most of your academic life, you learn a few things. For example, when you smell _that_ aftershave, you leave as quickly as possible.

“That’s Liam’s sweater! Oh my god, you share clothes now?” Xander could have sworn he saw Spike blush, but a second later that look had passed and annoyance was firmly settled on the handsome face.

“So what if it is?” Spike sounded defensive.

“He’s going to kill you when he finds out you have his clothes.”

“ _That’s_ what you’re worried about? Listen, Harris, he knows I have this. It’s not a big deal.”

“No, it’s a fucking _huge_ deal! You’re sharing clothes with the guy that made my life hell!”

“What’s your bloody deal, Harris? A couple of hours ago, we didn’t even speak to each other, and now you think you have some kind of right to decide what clothes I wear?”

Xander ran his fingers through his own dark hair, trying not to get frustrated any more than he already was. “Just forget it, okay? Let’s just make sure everyone’s okay, then get some sleep.”

Together they walked down the corridor, Spike taking the left hand side doors, and Xander taking the right hand side. They knocked on each door, made sure that there were no more and no less than four people in each room, told the boys to be downstairs and waiting for breakfast at eight am and moved on to the next room. When all the boys had been spoken to, Spike and Xander returned to their own room.

Spike immediately checked his phone, his face lighting up with another of those brilliant smiles when he saw he had a text. That was short lived. A few seconds later, Spike stood up. “I have to make a call. I’ll be in the bathroom.” The words were dripping with venom and although he was sure it wasn’t directed at him, Xander felt the urge to run and hide.

***

From the semi-privacy of the bathroom, Spike dialled the number of Buffy Summers, Head Cheerleader and one of the few popular girls Spike could stand. The phone rang four times before Buffy picked up.

“Is Liam dating Cordelia?”

“Well hello to you too, mister grumpy pants.”

“Buffy!”

“Yes! God, you’re impatient. They announced it today. They’ve been seeing each other for a month or so though. Why? Do you like Cordy too? Spike?” Buffy continued to talk while Spike tried not to fall apart. When he was sure he could talk without crying, he put the phone back to his ear.

“No, I’m not interested in Cordy. I have to make another call now.”

“Are you sure you’re okay, Spike? You sound kinda… odd.”

“I’m fine. And Buffy? Thank you.”

Dialling the next number made him feel numb, but he knew it had to be done. The phone went straight to voicemail, and that was good enough for Spike. “Liam O’Connor, you cheating bastard, why couldn’t you tell me to my face? Why did you have to let me find out like this? What happened to ‘I’ll come out after high school and we can be together properly’? You lying bastard. Six months, Liam. We’ve been together six months. How many others were there?” Spike knew he was nearly shouting now, but so what? “Don’t call me back. It’s over.” And with that, Spike hung up the phone and burst into tears.


	4. Chapter 4

Xander could hear the other boy’s sobs, and, as bad as he needed to pee, decided it was probably for the best if he gave Spike some time alone. Half an hour later, Xander decided his decision making skills left a lot to be desired, and knocked on the bathroom door.

“Spike? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Leave me alone,” was the hoarse reply.

“Spike, I need to pee. Can I use the bathroom please? I don’t really want to be billed for carpet cleaning charges.” Silence met his words, and Xander thought Spike had chosen to ignore him. Just as Xander was preparing to knock again, the door opened with a soft snick, and a visibly upset Spike emerged, puffy-eyed from crying.

Xander didn’t bother making conversation. He just darted in to the bathroom, relieved his achingly full bladder in a manner that would put a race horse to shame, shook his dick off and flushed. Feeling infinitely better, Xander washed and dried his hands and returned to the bedroom.

Spike was curled up on his side, the shirt he had been wearing now dropped carelessly on the floor. Without saying a word, Xander walked over and sat on the side of Spike’s bed. “Wanna talk?”

Spike sighed and rolled over onto his back. “Not really, but I have a feeling you won’t let it drop until I do. I’ll put it as simply as possible. Liam. Cordelia. Cheating Bastard.”

For a moment, neither said anything. Just as Spike was thinking about rolling back over onto his side, Xander spoke up. “Is Liam Angel?”

“Yeah. Liam’s Angel.”

“How long?”

“Since October. So six months now. But he’s been seeing Cordy for at least a month of that, and god knows how many others before that. But it’s over now.”

Xander let that information sit there between them. Before today, he had never even considered the possibility of either Spike or Liam liking men. “You’re gay.” It wasn’t a question. Xander didn’t know why he said it.

“I’m bi, but I prefer men. It takes a real special woman to get my attention.”

“What does that mean?”

“Means that while most guys are drooling over the cheerleaders, I’m not. I’m sure they’re the best looking girls at school, but they just don’t turn me on. So it’s got to be a really special girl.” Spike paused for a moment. “At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.”

Xander watched as Spike stood up, rummaged around in the duffel bag again, and turned around. Instead of the sweater Xander had expected Spike to be looking for, the blonde was holding a box of cigarettes and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Opening the window as far as it would go, Spike picked up the book of matches bearing the hotel’s name and phone number on the little paper cover and stalked into the bathroom to collect the plastic cups from next to the sink. Settling himself on the windowsill, Spike placed the bottle, cups, matches and smokes in front of him and motioned Xander to sit too.

“If we’re going to talk about this, we’ll do it as men, right?” Spike asked, pouring shots of whiskey into the plastic cups. Xander nodded. Spike raised his glass, knocked back the liquid in one swallow and put the cup back down in front of him. Next, he removed the cellophane from around the carton of cigarettes, removed one, and offered the pack to Xander, shrugging when the brunette declined the offer. The slide of the match against the rough paper seemed overly loud in the otherwise quiet room, and the following smell of match smoke pervaded the room as Spike lit his cigarette, breathing the first lungful out of the open window. 

Xander took a cautious sip of the whiskey, eyes watering as it slid down his throat, leaving a burning trail of fire in its wake. Spike didn’t seem to notice. He was too busy staring out the window and smoking. “We’re going to talk about this,” Spike said, “because I’m fairly certain that everyone at school will know Liam’s version of events by the time we get back, and I want at least one person to know my side of things.” Xander nodded again. It was all he could do, given the way the whiskey had burned away his voice box. He was amazed that Spike took another shot seemingly without feeling a thing.

“Liam walks on the straight side of bi. We noticed each other in the showers after training. That was the beginning of October, back when we only had hour long sessions after school, and football and swimming ended at the same time. We both caught each other looking for a moment too long. So naturally, we denied it. Until the next time. Everyone else had gone. I’d been talking with Mcallister about warm up exercises, and Liam had been made to pack away the football equipment, so it was just me an’ him left. He didn’t say a word, just walked up to me as I was showering, and kissed me. And I kissed him back. And that was how it started.” Spike poured some more JD into both cups before lighting another smoke.

“Maybe I was an idiot for assuming he felt the same way I did, or that what we had was exclusive. I know he has his reputation to maintain, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.” Another drink, another drag on the cigarette. “So what about you? You got a girlfriend?”

“Nope. You and Liam have all the girls’ attention. Us loser people don’t get a look in.”

“Losers? You’re captain of the swim team. You’re good looking, fit, have amazing eyes… How can you say you’re a loser?”

“Because it’s what I am. It’s what I’ve always been. Me and Willow. And Jesse before he and his parents moved out of state.”

“If you want to improve your cred at school, hang with me and Buffy when we get back. If I’m not chased out of town for being a fag, that is.” Spike shot him a slightly pained look. Xander knocked back his drink, noticing the burn wasn’t as bad as it had been.

“What’s it like? Being with a guy?”

Spike paused for a second, considering his answer. “Amazing. Men know what men like. Having a firm hand on your cock, doing exactly what you like most, not having to give direction beyond “Don’t bloody stop”… It’s so fucking good.” Spike’s eyes had fluttered closed as he spoke, and Xander took a moment to admire the well-muscled body, his own eyes travelling down the chest, to the washboard abs, to the tented front of the sleep pants. Xander blushed and looked away.

Spike’s eyes opened. His cock was achingly hard just from thinking about being touched, and the alcohol was taking effect. Putting the lid back on the bottle, Spike flicked the cigarette butt out the window, stashed the whiskey back in his bag and helped a slightly wobbly Xander to stand. The boy was obviously not used to real drinking. Spike had had more than triple the amount of alcohol Xander had, and was a lot more stable on his feet.

Leading the brunette over to the right bed, Spike waited until Xander was laying down to rinse out the cups in the bathroom sink, filling one with water and leaving the other on the side of the basin. Taking the water over to Xander’s bed, Spike told Xander to drink unless he wanted to feel like hell in the morning. He seriously doubted the tiny amount the brunette had drunk would be enough to give the boy a hangover, but with Mcallister breathing down their necks, it wasn’t worth the risk.

Xander waited until Spike had switched on the bedside lamp, switched off the overhead light, and climbed into his own bed to get up. He wasn’t drunk, just tipsy enough to be brave. Stripping down to his boxers, he climbed in next to the blonde. Spike, who had been facing the wall up until that point, turned round, bringing him face to face with Xander, who licked his lips once, then very gently, pressed a kiss to Spike’s, which were parted in surprise.


	5. Chapter 5

Xander took full advantage of Spike’s surprise. His tongue slipped inside the other man’s mouth, tasting the flavour there- toothpaste, smoke, and whiskey. Spike seemed to have caught up with what was happening, and was kissing back. Their tongues duelled. Xander moaned at the feel of the soft, soft lips against his own. At Xander’s needy little moan, Spike’s hands flew to Xander’s hips, pulling the other man flush against his own body.

Xander gasped as his erection was trapped between their bodies, rubbing tightly against Spike’s own. Spike’s left hand slid round to grasp Xander’s shaft. Xander hissed. Spike’s hand started a gentle rhythm on Xander’s cock, his own hips grinding desperately against Xander’s leg, trying to get enough friction to get off. Xander pushed at the waistband of Spike’s sleep pants, and Spike took the hint. Letting go of Xander’s cock, he pushed the soft cotton pants down enough to free his own dick. Xander’s hand wrapped round it, marvelling at the feel of the soft skin over steely hardness and the soft foreskin that was beginning to draw back over the damp head. Xander deepened the kiss.

Together they managed to get a rhythm going that suited both of them. Spike was gasping into Xander’s mouth. Xander was moaning into Spike’s. Spike felt his balls begin to draw up. “Not gunna… Uh… Not gunna last much longer, pet…”

“Don’t stop, Spike. I’m gunna… Oh, fuck, Spike! I’m cumming… Oh fuck, yeah!” Xander’s hot cum spurted onto Spike’s flat stomach, his hand going slack round Spike’s cock.

“Don’t stop, Xan. I’m so close…” Xander tightened his grip, letting Spike fuck his hand. A few thrusts later, Spike was shooting his own release onto Xander’s abs and over his hand. Both lay still, waiting to catch their breath, enjoying the other’s touch. Xander got up first, padding into the bathroom and dampening a hand towel. He cleaned Spike’s semen from his belly before heading back over to Spike’s bed and cleaning his own cum off Spike.

Taking the towel back into the bathroom, Xander took a moment to think. He didn’t want to reflect on what he’d done, not until morning at least. Taking a nerve calming breath, he stood up straighter and stepped back into the bedroom. That breath was taken from him when he saw Spike. The blonde looked like a debauched angel. His hair was a mess, his lips slightly swollen from kissing, and he was completely naked, the sleep pants having joined the sweater on the floor when Xander was in the bathroom.

Unsure of what he was meant to do now, Xander hovered between the two beds. Spike was looking at him, waiting. Eventually, he indicated Xander should join him in the bed they had just shared an amazing handjob in. Xander lay next to Spike, not moving, not touching the blonde. Spike sighed and rested his head on Xander’s shoulder, wrapped one arm around Xander’s waist and tangled their legs together. Xander’s arm snaked round Spike’s waist, and both were asleep within minutes.

When morning rolled round, Xander woke up to a firm body pressed against his own, sporting an impressive morning wood. The memories of last night flooded back and Xander flung himself out of Spike’s bed, as if the movement would make the thoughts go away, like he could leave them in the bed he had shared with another man. The clock by the bed announced that it was quarter to eight, giving them just fifteen minutes to be showered, dressed and downstairs for breakfast.

Xander showered first, deciding not to bother waking Spike just yet. His own morning wood betrayed him, demanding to be dealt with. So Xander spanked the monkey, taking a less than impressive forty five seconds to finish. He put it down to nerves about today’s training and finished washing up. When he got back to the bedroom, it seemed that Spike had had much the same idea, as his cock was now soft against his thigh and the blonde was cleaning up his stomach. He grinned at Xander.

“Only got ten minutes to get downstairs, Spike. Hurry up.” Xander found a set of clothes that weren’t too crumpled from their stay in his bag, and quickly dressed as Spike sauntered into the bathroom to shower.

With a full minute and a half to spare, Spike and Xander made it down to breakfast, surprised to find that only half the team was there. Mr Clarke, one of the required adults for the trip, explained that there was a case of food poisoning from last night’s pasta, and that this was the best turn out they could expect today. Of course the pasta had been the best option on the menu. Even Spike and the other vegetarian, Davis, had been tempted to go for chicken and bacon pasta.

“So what’s the plan?” Spike asked. “We going to train, or just work on cardio today?”

“The competition’s tomorrow. If the rest of the team isn’t better by then…” Mr Clarke trailed off.

“It’ll be up to us,” Xander finished for him. 

No one ate much. Xander opted for a bowl of dry cereal, unwilling to risk the milk the hotel provided. Spike ate dry toast, deciding that he would stop at the first convenience store they passed to get something decent. Rupert Giles was fairly well off, and a few text messages explaining the situation had Spike’s credit card topped up and ready to buy real food for the remaining team members. They weren’t expected at the pool until midday, so after some argument, Mr Clarke allowed Spike and Xander to go to the store. He would have gone himself, but that would have left the rest of the boys alone, and that was the greater of two evils.

***

Spike and Xander found the store relatively quickly. Considering the amount they would be buying, they had gone to a larger store. Xander pushed the shopping cart and Spike threw things into it every now and again. Fresh fruit seemed to be Spike’s pick of lunch, and the cart was slowly filling up with apples, bananas and pears. They also got a few loaves of bread, some sandwich fillings and a couple of bags of pre-made salad.

“Are you sure you’re not vegetarian by choice?” Xander laughed. “Everything in here is telling another story,” he said, waving his hand over the contents of the cart.

“Well, after a few weeks, it kinda grew on me. I’m not saying that I _always_ want the veggie option, but I’ve got used to it.”

“Fair enough,” Xander shrugged. “Think we should pick up some stuff for the others, see if there’s anything we can do to get them back in shape for tomorrow?”

“Maybe. Never had food poisoning, so I wouldn’t know what to look for.”

“Anything to settle upset stomachs, stop the nausea, stuff like that.” They wondered down the medicine isles for a while, realising that they wouldn’t be able to buy a lot of the things that would be helpful.

“Hi, can I help you at all?” A voice asked from behind them. The voice belonged to a short brunette woman wearing the store’s uniform.

“Erm, yeah. We’re from the Sunnydale swim team, and we have nine people back at the hotel with food poisoning. What can we get to make them better that won’t make us look like we’re manufacturing drugs?” Xander replied. The woman frowned, thinking hard.

“There’s not much you can get for that many people. They would have to come down here and buy the medicine themselves.”

Spike snorted. “Don’ think they’ll be leaving their bathrooms for long, let alone takin’ a casual stroll over here.”

“Sorry,” the woman shrugged. Spike and Xander kept walking. Xander pretended not to notice when Spike dropped a three-pack of condoms into the cart.


	6. Chapter 6

Having paid for the shopping, the next problem was getting back to the hotel. It was a lot heavier than it looked. Eventually, they managed to stagger into the lobby. The blonde behind the desk frowned, but the hotel had decided to relax its ‘food bought here only’ rule in light of the circumstances. In fact, the kitchen staff were very apologetic and allowed the boys use of plates and cutlery for making sandwiches, and a stack of brown paper bags that were usually used when people wanted to take whatever food was left home with them.

Spike sent Xander up to the rooms to check who wanted what in their sandwiches. When he got back down to the dining room, he saw that Spike was efficiently bagging up fruit to form enough lunches for the remaining team members with enough spare to last a couple a days. Xander snagged an apple off the table and bit into it, savouring the sweet taste as Spike set about making sandwiches. Xander read the list of names and preferred sandwich fillings out, one at a time, and wrote names on the paper bags so there would be no arguments.

A little over half an hour later, they were done, and Spike grabbed an apple off the table, sitting down heavily in the chair next to Xander. For a few moments, neither spoke. Xander broke the silence. “About last night…”

Spike sighed. “This the part where you tell me you ‘just wanted to find out’ and that it ‘didn’t mean a thing’?”

“No! No, it’s just… I enjoyed it. I hope you enjoyed it. I understand if it was just rebound sex to you, but if it wasn’t, maybe you would like to, er… maybe… do it again?” The only way Xander had been able to get the words out was by shutting his eyes tightly and pretending he was practising in front of the mirror.

“Can we talk about this later? In our room? With fewer clothes on?” Xander’s eyes flew open.

“You want to do it again?!”

“Hell, yeah.” Spike’s eyes dragged over Xander’s body, making sure the brunette knew exactly what Spike was thinking. Xander’s cock twitched in his pants.

***

Midday saw the remaining team members in the changing rooms of the pool they would be competing in. With clothes and valuables safely stored in lockers, and locker keys handed to Mr Clarke, the boys were waiting instruction. Spike and Xander had been trying to think of the best chance they had at winning.

“Okay, here’s what’s gunna happen,” Xander told them. “Me and Spike are gunna time your laps, and we’ll decide that way who’s gunna take which place in the relay, and we’ll time different strokes to see who’s our best shot of winning at those. Let’s go.”

Things didn’t go according to plan. Davis slipped as he was about to dive in, his ankle twisting with a resounding crack. He had fallen head first into the water, arms flailing. Spike had followed him in, dragging him back to the surface and over to the rest of the team, who all helped pull Davis out of the pool. An ambulance arrived and took him away, leaving nine boys stood at the side of the pool, all dry apart from Spike, who was shivering slightly under Xander’s towel.

Spike took the opportunity to breathe in the scent of the brunette that lingered on the fabric. Secretly, he was glad that he had left his own towel at the other side of the pool. Everyone decided it would be best if they just went back to the hotel, even if that did mean that they wouldn’t get a chance to practice. Between last night’s dinner and slippery poolside floors, everything seemed dead set against them competing.

Xander fetched Spike’s towel while a worried looking employee took Spike’s details and account of what had happened. She assured both boys that the life guard who was meant to be on duty would be fired for not being there. Spike couldn’t find the strength to feel guilty about that.

When they got back to the changing rooms, the other boys were already dressed. There wasn’t a single one who didn’t look either worried or solemn. Spike sat heavily on the bench in the middle of the room, running his fingers through his hair. Mr Clarke handed Xander the keys to his own and Spike’s lockers, leading the rest of the boys outside to eat lunch.

When the door shut behind Clarke, Xander sat down next to Spike, throwing his arm round the blonde’s shoulders. Spike leant in to Xander’s warm body, enjoying the comforting strength there. He felt Xander’s hand on his face, and let the brunette pull him into a searing kiss. Spike kissed back, letting his tongue explore Xander’s mouth. When the kiss broke, both were panting. Xander could see the peaked nipples on Spike’s chest and the impressive bulge in the Speedos. This was the first time ever that Xander had found himself _liking_ the usually embarrassing little slip of fabric. He knew his own hardness was clearly outlined under his own.

The look in Spike’s eyes prompted Xander to get dressed as fast as possible, if only so he could get back to the hotel room and undressed quicker. He could see Spike’s desire and arousal in that look. It made him impossibly harder. Spike’s hand on his arm stopped him, and Xander found himself being dragged over to the toilet stalls. Spike pushed Xander into the cubicle, shutting the door behind them. Spike’s chest was pushed tightly against Xander’s back, and those slender fingers were working the fly of the jeans Xander had managed to pull on before Spike could stop him.

Xander hissed as his cock slapped into Spike’s hand. Spike’s other hand pushed the jeans the rest of the way down Xander’s legs. The blonde started a fast paced rhythm on Xander’s cock, rubbing his own against Xander’s ass. The feel of the lycra covered hardness rubbing against him made Xander shudder. Spike bit gently at Xander’s shoulder and the brunette let the impending orgasm over-take him, sending thick jets of cum into the toilet bowl. Behind him, Spike rubbed his cock once more against Xander’s ass, then pulled away to unlock the door.

Spike slipped out the cubicle while Xander was still lightheaded from his orgasm. He headed over to the lockers to collect his own clothes, and was shutting the locker door again when he felt Xander’s arms close around his waist.

“Don’t you want me to repay the favour?” the brunette growled in his ear, fingers working their way into the waistband of Spike’s speedos. Spike turned his head away, embarrassed, as Xander’s fingers stroked his soft cock and cum covered skin. Xander moaned. “Fuck, Spike. You got any idea how freakin’ hot that is?”

“It’s not hot. It’s embarrassing,” Spike told him, pulling away to get dressed.

“What? Why d’ya think that? I got you off. Or rather, my ass got you off. I take that as a compliment.”

Spike turned, now fully dressed. A blush stained his cheeks, and Xander couldn’t resist kissing him again. “C’mon pet, think it’s time we found the others,” Spike said quietly, unwilling to let go of Xander’s body which he had pulled closer to his own during that last, painfully tender kiss.

 


	7. Chapter 7

The ride back to Sunnydale was a sombre one. While glad that the rest of the team was feeling better, Xander felt that he had let them all down. He had come second in his first race, and that was his best placing. Spike was dead silent. They sat next to each other on the bus, but apart from a whispered ‘I’m sorry,’ in the changing rooms, he hadn’t spoken since the end of the last race. The race he had come last in. Last. In all the races Xander had seen Spike take on, the blonde had never come in less than third place. In their hotel room, after the race, Xander thought he heard Spike crying, the sound muffled by his pillow.

No one paid any attention to the two boys curled up at the back of the bus. Spike rested his head on Xander’s shoulder, breathing in the scent of the brunette, before falling asleep, soothed by Xander’s fingers carding softly through his hair. Both were dreading their return to school and to normality.

When the bus pulled up in front of the school, classes were running as normal. It was the middle of the day, after all. Unloading the luggage, Xander thought about how he was meant to act around Spike now. Sure, the blonde had said they should spend time together at school, increase Xander’s popularity to some extent, but did that mean it was out of pity? Would Spike even have a shred of popularity left after his break up with Angel, and if he did, would he be okay with Xander bringing it down again? Was their time in LA just a convenience thing? Did Spike want them to be together, as in, in a relationship? There were too many questions running through his mind.

As he turned to put the last bag on the ground, his fingers brushed against Spike’s, who had been silently handing out bags to the right boys. Their eyes met for a second, and all Xander saw was pain and regret reflected back at him. Xander’s heart broke a little bit, until Spike offered him a small smile as he handed over Xander’s luggage. A harsh laugh broke the moment. 

“Look at the little fag,” Liam sneered. “I hear you lost. Mcallister’s going to cut you from the team, Spike.”

Spike scowled up at the taller boy. “Is there a reason you’re here, wanker?”

“Just wanted to offer my condolences. Must be tough to suffer this way- a break-up, the public humiliation of losing, and now being cut from the team?” Liam shook his head. “Did you really think I wanted you? You were an easy lay.” He snorted. “Well, you suck dick like a pro. But that’s as far as you’ll go, isn’t it?” Liam leaned forward, ruffling Spike’s hair before grabbing a handful, forcing a pained growl from the blonde’s lips. “You’re a frigid little bitch, Billy.” He pushed Spike away from him, causing Spike to stumble and Xander to steady him. The tenderness in Xander’s hold was not missed. Liam snarled and swung one massive fist towards Xander’s face. Spike’s own hand deflected the punch. Not for the first time, Xander was grateful for Spike’s quick reflexes.

Spike was vibrating with anger. “I told you, _Angel,_ that if you wanted more than a blow job that you would have to tell people we were together. But _you_ cheated on me. I’m not going to feel guilty about sleeping with, or not sleeping with, anyone else. I’m single. And I have you to thank for it. Now piss off.”

Liam looked between Spike and Xander, his jealousy nearly a palpable presence. With one final look that promised pain, he spun on his heel and lumbered off towards his car, where Cordelia was waiting impatiently for him. Xander let out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, and took in Spike’s rigid body, the balled fists and gritted teeth. Cautiously, he reached out and put a comforting hand on Spike’s shoulder, feeling the tension bleed out from the smaller body almost immediately.

“Fuck this. I’m not kicking around here for the cheerleaders to laugh at, and if Mcallister wants to drop me from the team? He can find me tomorrow.” Spike stepped away from Xander, letting the hand fall from his shoulder. Giving Xander a blinding smile, Spike bit the bullet, letting the nervousness he had felt leave with the certainty of Xander’s friendship, even if that was all it would ever be between them now. “Coming with me, pet?”

Xander smiled back, slinging his bags over his shoulder. “Lead on, MacDuff.”

“Ooh… Look who’s been doing the reading for English class,” Spike mocked, with no real bite to his words. “You never look like you pay attention, but here you are, quoting Shakespeare at me.” Xander stuck out his tongue, making Spike laugh. It was a genuine laugh that Xander knew he would pay good money to hear again.

***

At Spike’s front door, Xander paused, taking in the size of the house. It was a massive structure that just screamed of money. Spike looked a little embarrassed, but the emotion flickered away before Xander could confirm it had been there at all. The key slid into the lock, and turned silently. Spike dropped his luggage into the alcove under the stairs and kicked off his heavy boots, then leant on the wall while Xander toed off his sneakers and put his own bags next to Spike’s.

When Xander was shoeless, Spike motioned for him to follow him through into another room. It was no less impressive than the other parts of the house that Xander had seen. The walls were painted in a rich cream colour that matched the uncomfortable looking, designer couch and arm chairs. A massive plasma screen television dominated one wall. Spike sat down heavily on the couch, and pulled Xander down to sit next to him. Xander was hyper-aware of the side his body pressing against Spike’s.

The heat of Xander’s body against his own made Spike’s body react. His breath caught and his dick hardened in his jeans. Taking another chance, he placed is hand tentatively on Xander’s thigh, rubbing his thumb in nearly imperceptible circles. Xander moaned. Spike slid his hand further up Xander’s leg, nudging the heavy erection that was rapidly forming. Their eyes met, and Xander was relieved to see that none of the former regret was there anymore. All he saw was _want_ and lust.

Cupping the back of Spike’s head, Xander pulled him in for a passionate kiss. Neither cared about the lack of skill and finesse. All that mattered was that neither stopped kissing the other. Somehow, they managed to manoeuvre themselves so that Spike was laying on his back on the couch with Xander’s larger body covering his. Spike’s hands wandered to the hem of Xander’s shirt, raising it up the broad back, desperate to touch more skin.

Pants were unzipped and both moaned when the other’s fingers brushed over exposed skin. Spike was gasping and moaning into Xander’s mouth, never breaking the kiss. The head of his dick was leaking a steady stream of pre-cum that stained Xander’s shirt, and he knew the fluid from Xander’s own arousal was staining his own shirt. Spike slid his thumb over the head of Xander’s cock, feeling the slick evidence of his need. Spike did break the kiss then, raising his thumb to his mouth to taste Xander on his skin.

“Xan…” he whispered, eyes closing in ecstasy. Xander felt another surge of desire, stroking Spike’s cock faster, loving the way the other boy writhed beneath him. He thought he heard a door shut, but that didn’t matter- not while he was touching the beautiful body and making those delicious noises… Not while Spike was biting his lip and whispering his name like that…

All that ended suddenly when a voice called out, “William? Is that you? I thought I heard… Oh dear Lord!”


	8. Chapter 8

Spike and Xander scrambled off the couch, forcing painfully hard erections back into jeans. There was no way either of them could deny what had been going on- both had kiss swollen lips, thoroughly mussed hair and had been quite literally caught in the act.

“Dad, hi. Erm… this is Xander,” Spike announced, still panting slightly, either from their all too recent entanglement or from nerves. Xander blushed, still trying to straighten out his shirt.

“Um, hi, Mister Giles. I was just, um, I was just leaving,” Xander squeaked, unsure of exactly what the etiquette was when it came to meeting the father of the guy he may or may not be in a relationship with. Rupert Giles turned his steely gaze from the guilty looking blonde to the terrified looking brunette.

“Actually, I would prefer if you stayed and explained exactly what you think you were doing with my son.” Both boys winced, knowing that there was little to nothing that could get them out of this situation now. Giles turned his attention back to Spike. “William, what… why…” He paused, sighing deeply. “Are you two…? How long…? …Men?”

Spike glanced over at Xander, unsure of exactly what to call the thing they had. Was it too soon to be a relationship? Did Xander want it to be a relationship at all, or just a casual thing? To Spike, it wasn’t just sex, or about rebounding from what he had had with Liam. It was… new…

Looking at his dad again, Spike raised his head defiantly. “Yeah, men. More specifically, Xander. If he wants me?” He risked another glance at the brunette, his voice dropping to a whisper. “It’s only been a few days, but I think I’m falling for you, luv.”

Xander stepped closer to the blonde, cupping his face in one hand, forgetting their audience in favour of capturing Spike’s lips in a kiss that screamed of ‘yes’. “You’ve changed my whole world, Spike. I’d never even kissed anyone before you, and now…”

Giles removed his glasses, polishing the lenses until they squeaked. “At least tell me you used protection.”

Spike looked up sharply, nearly head-butting Xander’s in the process. “We didn’t.”

“William! I thought you had more sense than that. I can’t stress enough how disappointed I am right now. I have half a mind to ground you, or at least stop you spending all your time swimming.” Giles narrowed his eyes at Xander again. “And you… How dare you come into _my_ house and seduce _my_ son? I would like you to leave now.”

Xander’s eyes burned with unshed tears. He turned to leave, but Spike’s painfully tight grip on his bicep stopped him. If Xander had thought Spike had been angry during their earlier confrontation with Liam, he had been wrong. Spike’s eyes were narrowed at his dad, the grip on Xander’s arm evidence of the tension in the slim body.

When he spoke, Spike’s voice was venomous. “What I mean, _dad,_ was that we didn’t _do_ anything we needed protection from. Xander hasn’t done anything to me that I didn’t want done. And even if we had shagged, it wouldn’t be any of your bloody business!” Spike was shouting now, his fingers so tight on Xander’s arm that there would be bruises later. “I deserve better than being used for a quick blowjob. I deserve better than any of this! I deserve to be loved! You’re so fucking repressed that you don’t know what love _is_! When was the last time you hugged me, dad? When mum died? That was four years ago!” Spike seemed to run out of steam, letting Xander’s tight embrace soothe him. His breath was ragged, and he felt emotionally drained. Xander kissed the top of his head.

Giles sighed wearily and shook his head. “Xander, is it? Please leave now. I need to talk to William. Privately.” This time, Spike didn’t try to stop him leaving. His heart clenched when he heard the front door close, leaving him alone with his father. Spike sat down on the floor, his back resting against the couch that he had so recently occupied with Xander. The brunette’s taste was still in his mouth, giving Spike a tangible link to the other boy. Giles lowered himself to the floor too, sitting next to Spike in what he somehow convinced himself was companionable silence. When it became obvious that Spike wasn’t going to offer up anything more by way of explanation, Giles decided to ask more questions.

“Is… Xander… you’re first, erm, boyfriend?” he asked, hesitantly. Spike’s silence stretched on. Just as Giles thought that he wouldn’t be getting an answer, Spike shook his head.

“Liam.”

“Liam!? I thought you were just friends.”

“Nah. We were together. Or I thought we were, at least. I found out he was banging Cordelia behind my back. So I broke up with him.”

“And this… Xander?”

“Why do you keep saying his name like that?”

“It’s an odd name, is all.”

“Short for Alexander. But that’s not the point. Me and him. That happened the first night in LA. We didn’t fuck. I’m still a… a virgin.” Saying the words made it seem real. Spike had never thought of himself as a virgin; the label being something he didn’t want attached to his bad boy image. But if they hadn’t been interrupted, he had a very real feeling that that label wouldn’t have applied to him anymore anyway. He wanted Xander. Laying under the brunette’s larger body, Spike had felt that if Xander had asked, Spike would have let him in. He had hoped that Xander’s hand would have crept lower, that Xander’s fingers would have pressed against the opening to his body, sliding past the guardian ring of muscle… Or that Xander would have let Spike touch him that way. There were so many things Spike wanted to try, and he wanted to try them all with Xander. Things like who would top and bottom, and the positions they would use would be inconsequential when it came to the two of them. Tomorrow, Spike decided, he would find out if Xander felt the same way.

“Well I’m relieved that you were at least sensible.” Giles couldn’t think of anything more to say on the subject that wouldn’t embarrass the both of them further. So he took a different direction. “William, I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. I know I have trouble expressing my emotions, but in future, I would like you to come to me if you need to talk, or if… if you need me to be a better father.” Spike nodded, and Giles took that as an affirmative that Spike would talk to him rather than that he agreed that Giles needed to improve his parenting skills. “William… If you and Xander- or another young man in the future- decide that you _are_ going to embark on a, um, physical relationship, do you, er, that is to say, erm…”

“God, you’re embarrassing. I have three condoms and that’s it. One in my wallet and two in my wash bag.”

Giles sighed again and stood up, using the couch as a support. “I’m taking you to the drug store. Now. No arguments.”

Spike stood too, albeit more gracefully than Giles had. “Why?”

“I’m going to make sure you will be safe, if you do decide to be intimate with anyone.”

“IF?! You expecting me to join a sodding monastery or something? I’m not becoming a monk just because you don’t like the idea of me being with a bloke,” Spike huffed.

Giles continued as if he hadn’t heard Spike speak at all. “Oh, and I think it would be best if you didn’t see this Xander for a while either, until I am sure you are responsible enough to be in the same room as him without attempting to remove clothes. I didn’t appreciate that little display earlier, and I won’t tolerate stumbling on such a scene again. Do you understand me?”

Spike just stared at Giles in stunned silence, his hand half way to reaching for his jacket. He felt like his world had just crashed in on him.


	9. Chapter 9

The trip to the drug store was one of the most embarrassing events that Spike could ever recall in his life. His dad seemed to have some kind of inbuilt switch that allowed him to combine embarrassing things with public settings and be completely unaware of the looks he was getting. Spike wondered, in the few seconds he wasn’t wishing that the floor would open up and swallow him whole, whether all parents had this ability, or whether this was some sort of special punishment the world had reserved just for him.

Giles had dragged a furiously blushing Spike into the store and had proceeded to _very loudly_ go into detail about different types of condoms and lube and the importance of practising safe sex. The cashier at the till seemed torn between laughing and sympathising with Spike, who, for his own part, was bright red and trying to disappear into his duster. When the one sided conversation turned to the elder Giles extolling the virtues of KY Jelly, complete with anecdotes of his own youth, Spike nearly turned on his heel to leave.

“And it’s important to check the expiration date on the packet, because if you don’t, you’ll end up with children of your own, just like me and your mother did.”

Spike covered his face with one hand, pretending to be anywhere but in the store, with his dad, and the rows of boxes of condoms and lube and the seemingly endless stories that went with them.

“Yeah, that’s great dad, I was a mistake. Y’know what? I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to be a monk, so we can just go home now and not have to go through this ever again.”

“Now, William, is that really the attitude you want to have?”

“YES! Yes, it really is. Let’s go home and hit the phone book. M for monastery _and_ C for church, yeah?”

“Oh, for goodness sakes! Now _these_ ones are ribbed for…” Spike drowned the words out by mentally chanting ‘lalalalalala’ over and over. If it wasn’t for the fact it would have looked incredibly childish, he would have stuck his fingers in his ears and started humming.

A cheery voice behind him made Spike jump slightly. “Hey, Spike! Is that you?”

Spike closed his eyes, hoping Buffy would leave if he ignored her. She didn’t.

“No. It’s not me, Buffy. I’m not here. I was never here. This is some sort of nightmare that I can’t wake up from.”

“William, aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” Giles asked with a scowl, disappointed at how rude his son was being.

Spike cringed. “Buffy, Da. Da, Buffy.” Giles shook Buffy’s hand politely. Buffy took in Spike’s tense posture, the blush that was still staining his cheeks and the isle they were stood in. She rolled her eyes.

“Mr Giles, may I speak to Spike outside please?” she asked, not waiting for permission before dragging Spike out by his sleeve. Outside the shop, Spike’s face began to return to its normal colour, which didn’t clash so badly with his hair, Buffy noted. When she was sure Spike was feeling calmer, she smiled. “I was picking up mom’s prescription. Looked like you needed a break.” Spike nodded and laughed shakily.

“Yeah. Shame you couldn’t have got there earlier. Like before half of Sunnydale knew about my dad’s sex life.” Buffy scrunched up her nose, making an ‘eww’ face. Spike laughed again. “Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction, ‘cept with an added ‘oh god, please kill me now’ element.” They shared a moment of weak laughter before Buffy’s expression turned serious.

“I’m sorry about you and Cordy. I didn’t even know you were together. If I did, I would have told you a lot more gently than how I did.” Spike looked puzzled before realisation set in. He began to laugh. Not the shaky laughter they had shared just moments before, but real laughter that made his stomach hurt and tears form.

“I wasn’t with Cordy,” he hiccupped out, clutching his side. “She’s really not my type.”

It was Buffy’s turn to look confused. “But you sounded so upset…”

“I was. Just not about Cordy.” He waited, letting the implication of his words set in. Buffy’s eyes widened.

“Oh my god!” she squeaked, hands going to cover her mouth in shock. “You’re…? You’re gay!?” She flung her arms around Spike’s neck, causing them both to nearly fall over. “I have a gay friend! That’s so cool!” Letting go of him, she stood back, bouncing slightly as she looked at him. “But Liam? Really?” Spike nodded. “But he’s so… icky. I swear, he never showers. He smells of B.O _all the time_!” Spike laughed again.

“He smells manly. But I agree- he could do with more personal hygiene.” The door to the shop swung open and Giles stepped out onto the street, holding a carrier bag. Spike inwardly cringed and hoped that there would be no public discussions of what was _in_ that bag. “Well, I gotta run. See you at school tomorrow.” They hugged again, Buffy promising to text him later to talk about boys. As he walked away, Spike called over his shoulder to her. “Oh, Buffy? Xander Harris is gonna be hanging out with us tomorrow too if that’s okay?” Buffy nodded and waved before continuing her walk home, her mother’s prescription in hand.  
  
***

Spike returned home happier than he had been when he had left. That lasted until he realised that he wouldn’t be seeing Xander until second period the next day. Deciding to sort out the dirty laundry from his trip to LA, he took his bags up to his bedroom and dropped them on the floor before flinging himself on his bed. The bed he would be sleeping in alone. That was enough to make him get up again and focus on the menial task of laundry. Chucking a few pairs of sweat pants into the laundry hamper, and refolding a shirt he hadn’t worn, he reached back into the bag and pulled out a sweater. Liam’s sweater. He knew Liam would want it back, but Spike couldn’t really bring himself to care. The sweater ended up in the bin. Reaching back into the bag, his hand closed around a piece of paper. He grinned. Xander had written his address and cell phone number on a slip of paper- the same one Davis had written on in the hotel.

Spike snapped his cell phone open and dialled the number. Xander picked up on the first ring. “’Ello, pet.”

_“Spike! I’m sorry I got you into trouble. If you don’t want to hang out anymore, I understand. I’ll be upset, but I understand…”_

“’course I want to see you again. You free tonight? My dad goes to bed at ten thirty on the dot. Be at mine at eleven. I’ll let you in, but we have to be quiet, okay?”

_“Are you sure? Your dad was really angry…”_

“I’ve missed you, luv. Christ, its only been a few hours and I miss you. Can I hold you tonight? Please, Xan? You and me, in my big, double bed…”

_“Jesus, Spike! If that happens, you know I won’t be able to keep my hands off you.”_

“Then we’ll be quiet. I promise. We won’t get caught again.” Spike could practically hear Xander’s grin from the other end of the phone.

_“We could always get some of the tension out of the way now, so we wouldn’t be tempted…”_

Spike’s cock jumped to attention and started drooling pre-cum into the front of his jeans. He hissed at the painful pleasure of the rough material against the sensitive cock head. “Tell me what you have in mind, pet.”


	10. Chapter 10

Xander adjusted himself and laid back on his bed. The phone was held fast to his ear, and he could hear Spike’s heavy breathing. It was a heady sensation, knowing he was turning Spike on like that. “Tell me what you’re doing.”

_“What do you want to hear, luv? That I’m touching myself through my jeans? That I’m nice and hard for you?”_

“Yeah, I wanna hear that. I’m hard too.” Xander unzipped his own jeans and eased his erection free, moaning when the cool air hit the damp head.

 _“Mmm… moan for me again, baby…”_ Xander did, gripping his aching flesh in one hand. _“Have you got yourself out? Are you touching yourself?”_

“Yeah. I wish it was you I was touching instead though.” Xander heard Spike’s breath hitch. “Are you still stroking it through your pants or have you got it out too?”

_“Haven’t taken meself out yet. I’m hard and leaking for you. There’s a damp patch on the denim, I’m so horny for you.”_

“Take it out.” He heard the sound of a zipper lowering, then silence. “Spike?”

_“Tell me what to do.”_

“Oh fuck…” Xander paused, squeezing the base of his cock to stop things ending early. “Rub your thumb over the tip. Don’t stroke it yet. Just touch the head.” Spike let out another moan, making Xander feel bolder. “Now cup your balls. Roll them in your hand. Imagine it’s me touching them.”

_“Christ! Hell, Xan, I’m close already. Keep going…”_

Xander gave in to temptation and started to stroke his dick, the rhythm exactly how he needed it, honed from years of teenage masturbatory experience. “If you were here with me, I’d have you on your knees, sucking me off.”

_“God, yes. I wanna taste you Xan. Wanna lick your fat cock like a lollipop and swallow all you give me.”_

Pearly drops of pre-cum were leaking onto Xander’s stomach, spurred on by Spike’s words. “Fuck! You’d do that? That’s so hot… Would you let me suck you, too? I wouldn’t be able to fit your whole cock in my mouth. Its too big. But I’d try. I wanna make you feel good, Spike.”

 _“Oh fuck. Oh fuck, Xan…”_ Spike went silent again, and Xander began to think the fun had ended early after all, before _“Wanna know what I’m doing now?”_

“Tell me.”

_“I’ve just lubed up my finger and shoved it in my ass. I’m finger fucking myself, imagining its you inside me.”_

Xander came then, his orgasm painful in its intensity, but the best he’d ever had because of it. He arched off the bed, dropping the phone from his ear as ropes of sticky semen shot over his belly and chest.  When he regained the ability to think, he picked the phone up again. “God, Spike. That was amazing. Did you finish too?”

 _“Not yet, pet. Barely hanging on though,”_ Spike panted. Xander smiled.

“Don’t cum. Wait til I’m there later. Can you hold on that long?”

Spike whined. _“Why, baby? You wanna kill me with a severe case of blue balls?”_

“No. I told you: I wanna make you feel good.” He couldn’t keep the smirk from his face, and he knew Spike knew it.

_“Shit! Don’t know if I can wait that long if you’re going to say things like that…”_

“Then I’d better remove the temptation, hadn’t I? Bye, Spike. See you in a few hours.” And with that, he hung up the phone.

***

Spike swore and threw his phone on the floor. He was suspended on the knife-edge between the need to orgasm and the desire to wait for Xander. The part of him that wanted to finish the job he had started was encouraged when his still hard cock jumped at the thought of what Xander was going to do. Spike hadn’t been lying when he said he was close. His balls were drawn up close to his body, ready to spill copious amounts of cum over his hand and belly, where the pre-cum had pooled already. His body was shaking with need.

Sighing, he decided that it wouldn’t be a good start to their relationship if he betrayed Xander’s trust so soon. The only option was a cold shower and the hope that the icy water would cause his erection to wilt.

***

The cold shower had helped for a while, but sitting at the kitchen table, trying to eat his dinner while Rupert Giles babbled on about something Spike couldn’t have cared less about, all he could think of was seeing Xander. The food had gone cold. Spike had spent half an hour pushing peas and chips around his plate while ignoring the burgers his dad had cooked. He wasn’t surprised that his dad had forgotten Spike was a vegetarian. But that didn’t matter because Xander would be coming over soon. Spike’s cock was hard again. He squirmed slightly and tried to discretely adjust himself under the table.

“William, are you feeling alright?” Giles asked, a worried frown on his face. Spike looked up guiltily.

“Yeah, fine. Just… distracted, I guess. I miss Xander.”

Giles smiled. “Ah, yes. The signs of a crush. Low appetite, constant distraction…”

“Drop the lecture. I miss my boyfriend, is all.” Even as he said it, Spike smiled at the word. _Boyfriend._ He had a boyfriend. Xander was his boyfriend and Spike had a good feeling that _this_ relationship wouldn’t be a dirty little secret.

Giles rolled his eyes. He had never seen himself as closed-minded, and he had to admit that his son seemed a lot happier in the few hours since his return from Los Angeles than he had in months. That other boy, Liam, must have messed with William’s head. Idly, Giles’ mind wandered off to the pain he should be dealing out to the other boy for hurting his son. Spike’s fork scraped on the plate, making a sharp screeching sound that snapped Giles out of his reverie.

“You’ll see him at school tomorrow.”

“Huh?”

“You’ll see Xander at school tomorrow. I don’t mind you spending time with him during school hours, but outside of that, I’d prefer it if you did as I asked and stayed apart for a while.”

Spike scowled at Giles. “I’m going to my room. May I be excused?” Giles sighed at nodded. Spike stood quickly and took his plate to the sink before disappearing from the kitchen. The heavy sound of his footfalls on the stairs made him feel better, as did the loud slamming of his bedroom door.  Picking up his cell phone from where he’d dropped it before his shower, he checked his texts. There were three unread messages waiting for him. The first was from Xander, saying how much he was looking forward to seeing Spike later. The second was from Xander too, reminding Spike not to cum before they met up. The third was from Liam. All it said was ‘I miss you, Spike’.

Spike stared at Liam’s message for a moment before hitting the delete button. Slumping back on his bed, Spike picked up the book he had been reading for school and distracted himself while he waited for Xander.

  



	11. Chapter 11

Xander hovered by the door, unsure of whether to knock or not. He had raised his hand to press the doorbell and dropped it back to his side twice already. Just as he was beginning to think that the whole thing was a bad idea, Spike had appeared in front of him and had captured him in a hug that could have broken bones. Xander’s lips met Spike’s, and both boys enjoyed a chaste kiss that rapidly threatened to develop into something more. Spike broke the kiss first, his eyes glassy and breathing shallow, and Xander could feel the evidence of the blonde’s arousal pressing into his thigh.

Spike took Xander’s hand, leading him up the stairs. They stopped at the first door, Spike pushing Xander inside the room and following him inside before shutting the door behind them. Xander took a moment to look around the room. It suited Spike perfectly; the walls were covered in so many posters that it was impossible to tell the colour of the wallpaper behind them. The shelves were crammed with books- some Xander had read for school, others way beyond his interest. There was a laptop on the desk. It looked expensive. The floor was mostly clothing free, but the hamper in the corner was full to the point of overflowing. But the most important feature that Xander noted was the large double bed.

Xander looked at Spike again. What he saw made his pulse race. Spike looked horny as hell. Xander stepped forward, kissing Spike thoroughly. When Spike was panting with need, he pulled back.

“Spike? Can you keep quiet?” he whispered. Spike nodded, making Xander smile. “Good.”

Xander pulled Spike’s t-shirt out of the waistband of the tight black jeans, then off over Spike’s head, messing up the soft blonde hair. He took a few seconds to suck on each of Spike’s nipples, enjoying the aborted groan Spike let out. Xander’s fingers deftly unbuckled Spike’s belt and popped open the button on his jeans. He kissed his way down Spike’s chest, over his tight abs, down the enticing trail of hair that disappeared beneath black denim. Xander knelt in front of Spike, working the zip open slowly. He pulled the jeans down, letting them pool at Spike’s feet, leaving the blonde naked.

Xander licked his lips. Spike was beautiful when he was clothed, but naked he was more like a demigod. Leaning forwards, he licked a long stripe from the base of Spike’s hard cock to the tip, tasting the pre-cum that was already flowing steadily. Spike’s hands flew to Xander’s head, holding him in place. Xander savoured the taste of Spike in his mouth before going back to suck on the head of the cock in front of him. Spike watched him with wide, astonished eyes. Xander’s left hand cupped Spike’s full, heavy balls, testing the weight of them, feeling how close they were to releasing their load. By Xander’s reckoning, it wouldn’t take long for Spike to blow his load, and that was just fine. He began bobbing his head and sucking in his cheeks, making good on his promise to make Spike feel good. Spike’s breathing sounded loud in the otherwise quiet room, and the sound of Xander sucking on his erection seemed obscene to the point that it heightened the pleasure.

“Keep going, pet. Feels so bloody good,” Spike told him in a whispered moan. His hands tangled further in Xander’s hair, the grip so tight it made his scalp tingle. “Oh, yeah. Yeah. Gunna… Xan, pull off, I’m gunna…” Xander ignored Spike’s attempts to push him away, instead increasing his suction and rolling Spike’s balls once more with the palm of his hand. Spike thrust forward, hard, making Xander nearly gag.

Xander looked up at Spike’s face. Spike was watching Xander suck his dick. He was trying so hard to keep quiet that he had bitten his lip, making it bleed slightly. One more thrust and Spike was cumming, sending thick jets of warm spunk into Xander’s mouth. Xander swallowed it all, much to Spike’s amazement.

Spike pulled Xander to his feet and kissed him soundly. He could taste his own spend in the brunette’s mouth and his soft cock made a valiant attempt to rise again. When he pulled away to breathe, he let his hand trail down Xander’s hip, across to the flies of the jeans. They were damp, and Spike grinned.

“I can see what you meant. That is freakin’ hot”. Xander blushed. Spike finished undressing Xander slowly. He enjoyed every inch of skin that he revealed, teasing at Xander’s neck and nipples and hip bones with lips and teeth. When Xander began to make too much noise, he would stop. Xander begged him to keep going, to touch him, to do _anything._ By the time Spike had removed the ridiculous cartoon boxers and revealed the thick cock they had been hiding, Xander was too far gone to do anything but hold Spike close to him as he shot his cum over the blonde’s body.

While Xander caught his breath, Spike cleaned both of them off with his own discarded t-shirt, before pulling Xander down to lay on the bed. The blonde pulled the covers up, switched off the lamp and snuggled close to the larger body. Xander could feel the tension rolling off Spike’s body. Eventually, Spike spoke up, preferring to talk in the cover of darkness.

“Why did you do that?”

Xander was confused. “Do what?”

Spike closed his eyes, not that it made much of a difference in the already dark room. “You sucked me off. I’ve never cum that hard in my life. Why’d you do it?”

“I told you. I wanted to make you feel good. Did I? Make you feel good?”

Spike heard the note of uncertainty in Xander’s voice and immediately felt guilty. “Hell yeah! Xan, you were amazing. I’ve never, erm… that was my first…”

Xander sat up in the bed, wishing there was more light so he could see Spike’s face. “I gave you your first blow job? And it didn’t suck?”

Spike giggled. “It sucked. But in a good way.” Xander laughed too, realising the pun too late. He kissed the top of Spike’s head as he settled back down beside the blonde.

“Night, Spike,” Xander murmured as his eyes began to close. He thought he heard a reply, but chalked it up to a figment of his imagination.

“Night Xan. Love you.”

***

Xander woke up when a set of footsteps walked down the hallway, stopping in front of Spike’s bedroom door. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table. Six thirty in the morning. Way too early for him to be awake. He had just begun to settle himself back in bed, spooned around Spike’s sleep warmed body when there was a knock on the door.

“William? Are you awake? I’m coming in.” The door creaked open just as Xander hit the floor on the other side of the bed, hoping Giles didn’t look there. Spike scowled sleepily at his dad. The room reeked of sex. Spike thought fast. He pushed the covers down to groin level, one hand out of sight beneath them, and tried to look appropriately flustered.

“Shit, Da! Little busy here!”

Giles flushed bright red, and slammed the bedroom door. Spike sat up, laughed and helped Xander back into bed with him.

“We still got some time to sleep before school,” he muttered, shifting in Xander’s arms. Spike fell asleep easily, while Xander lay awake, feeling terrible that he had to sneak around to be with his boyfriend and scared that they had almost got caught. Once was enough for his entire life time and he had no intention of ever repeating that again. He made a mental note to mention to Spike about getting a lock for the door.

  



	12. Chapter 12

Spike was snoring gently, his head resting on Xander’s chest. Xander thought it was the most adorable thing in the world, but he would never say that to Spike’s face. He knew they should both be getting up and getting dressed for school, but he couldn’t find the energy to leave the warm bed and Spike’s arms.

Spike began to stir, nuzzling sweetly against the dark, wiry hair, and blinked sleepily up at him.

“Mornin’”

“Hey. Your dad left for work already. He didn’t come back in your room though.”

Spike grinned. “Yeah, doubt he’ll be barging in like that for a while.” He glanced at the clock. “C’mon, let’s get in the shower.” Xander liked that idea very much. They climbed out of the warm bed and stumbled into the bathroom. It was huge, and Xander found himself curious as to how it would feel to share a bath with Spike in the huge tub in the corner.

Spike adjusted the water temperature, making sure that neither one of them would get scolded or frozen, before pulling Xander towards him for a quick, rough kiss. They climbed under the powerful spray of the shower head and Xander moaned, his eyes drifting shut. It was the best shower he had ever taken. The hot water eased his tight muscles and made his skin tingle. In that respect, it was very much like being with Spike.

He opened his eyes to see Spike watching him, a look of complete desire and hunger in his eyes. “If we start this now, we won’t get to school on time,” he said, pulling the blonde into a fierce hug, loving the feeling of Spike’s hard erection against his thigh. Spike, in reply, began to suck gently on Xander’s collar bone, and all rational thought stopped for the brunette.

They rutted against each other, both desperate for their own releases, the only sounds in the room the rush of water from the shower, the slick sound of skin on skin and the intermittent grunting as their orgasms approached. Xander finished first, nearly losing his balance on the slippery floor as his knees went weak. Spike finished soon after, growling into Xander’s neck as his hips pumped, the friction of his cock on Xander’s thigh too much for him to stand.

“That was so much better than beating off on my own in here,” he chuckled, pressing a kiss into Xander’s wet hair.  

***

They got to school just a few minutes before the bell rang. Xander was wearing some of Spike’s clothes that were too big for the blonde, but had forgone underwear, which was a new experience. Spike like the idea of them both going commando and had whispered some dirty promises to Xander that both were looking forward to.

First class was boring, and Xander had had plenty of time to think about Spike, and the things they were going to be doing when school ended for the day. He let his eyes glaze over and the numbing voice of the teacher wash over him until the end of class.

“And your homework is to write an essay on the use of anathema in Dante’s Inferno. I expect it on my desk by the end of next week.” Everyone groaned, but packed up their books and left the classroom without comment.

Xander shuffled over to his locker, looking for his algebra book for next class, when he became aware of someone stood next to him. At first he thought it was Spike and he smiled as he looked up. The smile disappeared when he saw who was there.

Liam was an intimidating sight when he wasn’t pissed off, but at that moment, he was terrifying. Anger blazed in his eyes and he looked at Xander like there was nothing he wanted more than to squash him like a bug. He slammed his fist into Xander’s locker door, the metal making a sharp clanging noise.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing with him, but stay the hell away from Spike. Got it? He’s mine and you can’t have him,” Liam growled at Xander, voice pitched low enough that no one else could hear. “Whatever little games you’re playing with him, end them. He will always be mine.” And with that, Liam pushed off the locker and stormed down the hallway, leaving Xander to try to clam his breathing and run a clammy hand over his pale face.

***

Xander was on edge for the rest of the day. When he met Willow in the cafeteria, she knew something was wrong, but he refused to say anything. Willow looked worried when Spike and Buffy headed over to their table, knowing that the school hierarchy didn’t permit cool kids like Spike and cheerleader Buffy sitting with nerds and losers like her and to a lesser extent Xander.

“Hey Xan,” Spike greeted, sitting down heavily in the chair next to the brunette. His fingers traced subtly along Xander’s thigh, just teasing and letting Xander know he was wanted. Xander visibly relaxed and gave Spike a blinding smile, which Spike returned.

“Are you guys coming to the party tonight? Its just gunna be a few people, but Spike has an open invitation to all my parties,” Buffy asked the group.

“You guys up for it?” Spike asked Willow and Xander, knowing that both would be reserved about being asked to a social event like that. The only reason people like Willow got invited to parties was to be made fun of, and Spike wanted to make sure they knew that wouldn’t happen this time.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Xander decided, knowing that Willow would follow his lead. They began to discuss the party, what they would wear and who would be going. It transpired that Buffy’s cousin Anya was visiting for a few weeks while she was on a break from her university course in Indiana. Spike had heard of her before; Buffy had told him all about Anya’s reputation as a man-eater. As long as she kept her hands of him and Xander, Spike would be up for partying.

***

The rest of the school day passed without incident. Spike spent an hour in the library when he should have been learning how to cook a cheese and potato pie, but that was mostly because the last time he had attempted to cook, he had ended up nearly burning down the kitchen. He had been banned by his dad from even touching the stove at home and Spike took that to mean that he was excused from class for the same reason.

The most eventful moment of Xander’s after lunch classes was when Jack, one of the gangly boys with no co-ordination, dropped a test tube on the floor of the science lab and he had to scramble to pick up his school bag before it got damaged.

The pair met next to the school gates when the final bell rang. They didn’t kiss, not when there were so many people milling about, but both wanted to. Xander waved goodbye to Willow as she passed them, and Spike gave her a friendly smile, which she shakily returned with a blush.

They headed off towards Spike’s house, sure they would have an hour or so to be together before his dad got home. Xander glanced back over his shoulder as they left, shuddering when he saw Liam glaring at the two of them from his spot next to his shiny car.


	13. Chapter 13

The party was in full swing by the time Spike and Xander pulled up outside Buffy’s house in Spike’s black Desoto. They had spent ages getting ready for this, Spike making sure that Xander was dressed in something other than the horrific orange monstrosities that usually passed for shirts. They had picked Willow up on the way, but had to spend another twenty minutes picking out a suitable outfit for her too.

Willow had opted for the ‘stay in the background’ look, in the dull coloured clothes she usually wore for school in shades of grey and brown, but Spike had taken one look at her and told her to go change. She had hesitated, and Spike had all but frog-marched her back into the house. Together, the three of them had found an outfit that wasn’t too ‘blah’ as Spike had described it, nor too slutty. They had compromised on a white peasant top and black ankle length skirt that said ‘classy without being a whore’. Although still unsure, Willow had relaxed a lot in the car, joining in with the light banter passing between her best friend and the blonde boy.

Buffy greeted them at the door, telling them to grab a drink and not to smoke inside. Spike had grumbled good-naturedly, and uncapped a couple of beers. He passed one to Xander and offered another to Willow, shrugging when she declined in favour of a soda.

Spike flirted with Xander, making the brunette blush. He knew that to a casual observer it would just look like two guys hanging out, but it was fun to make Xander blush. Things were going great until there was a knock at the door. Buffy stopped dancing to open it.

Cordelia was draped on Liam’s arm, wearing her best ‘I got the hottest guy in the school’ smirk and a designer dress. Buffy scowled, her arms crossed.

“This is a private party. I didn’t invite you,” she told them through gritted teeth. Neither one of them paid her any attention and swanned inside like they owned the place. Cordelia scanned the room, taking in the atmosphere and turned her nose up at the sight of Willow dancing with Xander in the living room. Liam saw too, and grinned like the cat that got the cream. He mumbled something to Cordy about getting a drink, and stalked off to find Spike.

***

Spike was outside, smoking a cigarette. He tilted his head back and watched the curls of blue-grey smoke disappear into the night. He felt great. He was having a good time with his boyfriend and there was nothing that could spoil his good mood. Until he saw Liam stepping out of the house to join him in the back yard. He dropped the cigarette butt on the floor and ground it out under his boot.

“Can we talk?” Liam asked.

“No.”

“Listen, I’m sorry I was a jerk before, but you know how it is. I’m the quarterback. I’m expected to date a cheerleader or one of the popular girls. I cant afford to lose my popularity over something like that.”

Spike shot him a look that promised death. “So you’re saying that your popularity is more important than what we had? Does Cordy know? Does she know any of the things you used to beg me to do? Face it Liam, you’re shallow and a pathetic waste of space. Leave me alone and don’t come near my friends either. Okay?” Spike turned and headed back inside, never seeing the lost look on Liam’s face.

Spike found Xander still on the dance floor, sandwiched between Willow and a blonde girl he had never seen before. Buffy appeared at his shoulder, handing him another beer.

“Looks like Xander and Anya are getting along well,” she said, taking a swig of her own beer. So that was Anya. Buffy had been right; she did flirt with anything with a pulse. But that was harmless. Xander was out of bounds and Willow was sensible enough not to take drunken flirting seriously. Buffy wobbled, balancing herself using Spike’s shoulder. She had been drinking since they started getting ready at five and now she was three sheets to the wind. Spike rolled his eyes as she wobbled away to dance with her friends.

***

Willow met Spike outside at quarter to midnight. He was chain smoking, stressed by both Liam’s presence and Xander’s distant behaviour. The brunette had only left the dance floor to use the bathroom or get another drink, and had barely acknowledged Spike at all.

“Spike? Could you, erm… thing is, I have a midnight curfew and…”

“Say no more Red. I’ll drive you home. Let’s go see if Xander’s ready to go too, yeah?” he said, slinging one arm round Willow’s shoulders, unknowingly making her blush bright red. He was fine to drive; he’d only had two beers and both of those had been before ten o’clock.

Xander was dancing with Buffy when they got back inside. Spike caught his attention and Xander wandered off the makeshift dance floor over. “I’m taking Willow home. Are you ready to leave, or should I come back to pick you up?”

Xander looked guilty. “I’m gunna stay here for a while, if that’s okay. Can I phone you when I’m ready to leave?” Spike nodded, checking to make sure his cell phone was charged. It was. Xander hugged Willow and then Spike. The blonde hugged back, and nuzzled into Xander’s neck for a few seconds before the embrace ended.

***

They pulled up outside Willow’s house with five minutes to spare. Willow blushed every time she looked at the handsome blonde, but luckily it was dark enough that he didn’t notice. He was gorgeous and had been flirting with her a bit when they talked. When Spike killed the engine and said that he hoped she had enjoyed herself tonight, she took things into her own hands and kissed him.

Spike was taken aback. He had never kissed a girl before, and had never cheated. He wasn’t about to begin with cheating on Xander with his best friend. He pushed Willow away from him, noting the way she bit her lip with worry and the way her eyes went huge.

“Listen, luv, you’re a great girl, but this can’t happen between us,” he said, trying to be gentle.

“Why not? Am I not attractive? I thought you liked me…”

“I do like you. As a friend. But that’s all it can ever be. I love my boyfriend and I won’t betray him. I’m sorry.”

Willow’s eyes went impossibly wider. “Boyfriend?” she squeaked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I would never have done that if I knew you were seeing someone.” Guilt and shame washed over her, and she hurried out of the car with a hurried goodbye.

Spike started the car again and drove in circles for most of the night, waiting for his boyfriend to call.


	14. Chapter 14

Spike returned home around 3am. He had waited for Xander’s call, only to be left disappointed. Eventually he had phoned Buffy’s house only to be told that the party had ended already and everyone was gone. She did reassure him that Xander had made it home okay, as she had insisted that the brunette phone her the second he got through the front door. That made Spike smile. Buffy was extremely protective of her friends and he was immensely glad that Xander had been included like that.

Despite his relief, he couldn’t get to sleep when he fell into bed. Why hadn’t Xander called? Did he know that Willow had kissed him? Was he angry? Spike chastised himself for thinking too much and decided that he would drive past Xander’s house tomorrow, maybe see if there was a chance of hanging out for the day, and making sure everything was okay.

He must have fallen asleep at some point, as he woke up to sunlight streaming through the window and the kind of headache that only comes from not enough sleep. He threw the covers off his body and padded down the hall to shower. He remembered the shower he had shared with Xander and the memory immediately had an effect on his penis. He ran his fingers up the hardening shaft as the water sluiced over his skin. Imagining Xander on his knees in front of him brought him to a finish, and the thick, white liquid washed down the drain as quick as it left his body.

He slung his towel round his hips and returned to his bedroom, checking his phone twice before finishing drying off and dressing. Xander still hadn’t phoned. No calls, no texts, nothing. Spike was getting more and more worried. Liam had been at that party. If he had done anything to hurt Xander…

Spike sauntered into the kitchen, nodding a greeting at his dad, who was sat at the table, drinking a cup of tea. Spike grabbed the house phone from the counter, and dialled. The cell phone in his hand chirped annoyingly. So much for the theory that there was a problem with his phone, then. He sighed and stomped outside to his car. Giles sighed and went back to drinking his tea.

***

Spike drove straight to Xander’s house, not hesitating to knock on the door. A woman answered. Spike assumed this must be Xander’s mother.

“Hi, Mrs Harris. Is Xander home please?” Spike asked in his most charming English accent. Mrs Harris’ expression turned from stony to welcoming in a matter of seconds.

“Yes, he’s in his room. Do come in.”

Spike stepped in the house, taking in the pictures of a younger Xander, smiling through his lack of front teeth, and the adorably cute photos of baby Xander in a Thomas the Tank Engine sweater. “Thanks, Mrs Harris.”

“Please, call me Jessica. Xander’s probably still asleep. I need to go get his laundry anyway, so come along with me.” She turned the handle of the basement door, heading down the stairs as Spike dutifully followed. He nearly walked into Jessica when she stopped suddenly about half way down the stair case. He glanced over to where she was looking, and the bottom fell out of his stomach.

Xander was in bed, the sheets tangled around his feet, and his arm flung over a body. A naked, female body. Tears formed in his eyes and he left quickly, not caring what Jessica would say or think. He was more upset than he had been when he found out about Liam and Cordy. Jessica followed him up the stairs, catching him by the arm just as he reached the door.

“I’m sorry. I had no idea he was with someone. Is she your girlfriend?”

Spike swallowed thickly, letting out a desperate chuckle. “Something like that. Thanks for… Thanks for…” He paused, unable to find the words. Jessica seemed to understand. She patted Spike’s shoulder in a reassuring way and let him leave with as much dignity as possible, given his stinging eyes and obvious emotional pain.

***

Spike drove aimlessly, much as he had the night before. There was nowhere he particularly wanted to be. He blamed everyone, including himself for what had happened. He blamed Buffy for hosting the damn party in the first place, and for the presence of that blonde bint. He blamed Anya for making a move on _his_ man. He blamed Willow for leaving early so he couldn’t stay with Xander. He blamed Liam for just being there. He blamed his dad for letting him go out that night. He blamed himself for leaving Xander there to take Willow back. He blamed Xander most of all, for hurting him so much.

Eventually, just like he had after the party, he pulled up at his own house. He checked his pockets, realising too late that he didn’t bring his keys, and knocked on the door. Giles opened it, and was shocked by the unhidden rage and hurt written all over his son’s face. Without asking permission, he pulled Spike into a hug, not surprised at all when it was returned with equal force.

Giles led Spike into the house, shutting the door behind him. Spike sat down at the kitchen table, and Giles set about making two mugs of hot chocolate. Spike accepted his gratefully.

“I suppose if I ask you what’s wrong you’ll say ‘nothing’?” Giles asked as he added little marshmallows to his own mug and offered the packet to Spike.

“I think I’m cursed. I turn all the gay boys straight. Liam… Xander…” Spike sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “If Xander calls, or comes over, tell him I’m not here. I have nothing to say to him right now.” As if on cue, his cell phone began chirping its annoying tune. The caller ID told him it was Liam, and Spike debated not answering. After three rings, he answered.

“What?”

_“Lovely greeting there Spikey.”_

“What do you want Liam?”

“ _I’m sorry about last night. Can we talk? In person?”_

Spike glanced over at his dad, remembering the awkward conversation about how Liam had been intimate with Spike. He shrugged it off. What did it matter? Liam had a girlfriend now. “Sure. Come over and we can talk.”

“ _I can be there in ten minutes.”_

Spike hung up, knowing Liam wouldn’t be offended. It was their old routine of not wasting time with pleasantries.

Giles frowned. “Was that wise?”

“Probably not, but it speaks to my state of mind that I’d rather see him than Xander.”

“Just don’t do anything rash. I don’t want to see you hurt anymore than you are now.”

Spike stood and put his empty mug in the dishwasher. “I know.” He busied himself with making a sandwich for a while. “Dad? Could we maybe, I dunno, do something? Like father-son binding? Except not in the drug store this time.” Giles laughed at the way Spike’s face went red at the memory.

“Of course. Did you have anything in mind?”

“No. I just thought since, y’know, mum died, we haven’t really spoken, let alone spent time together.”

A knock at the door announced Liam’s arrival, and Spike went to let the other boy in.


	15. Chapter 15

Xander woke up and immediately wished he hadn’t. His head was pounding like someone had set up a marching band in his skull and his stomach was making its displeasure known. He wasn’t normally a big drinker, but at that party, with Spike and Willow and people he could actually call friends? That called for a celebration.

He was aware of a warm body next to him, and he snuggled closer, glad that Spike was with him. Except the person in bed with him wasn’t Spike. The body in his bed was decidedly female and was smiling up at him with what he knew from experience (with Spike only) were afterglow eyes. The kind of soft, relaxed expression that only comes after a mind-numbing orgasm. Xander’s stomach rebelled again and he launched himself out of bed and away from the strange –naked!- woman he had been sharing it with. He made it to the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face in a desperate bid to wake himself up from the bad, bad dream he was obviously having. Except the water was doing very little except making his face wet and cold. A knock on the bathroom door made him jump nearly out of his skin.

“I’m going home now. Let me know if you want to meet up for orgasms. I left my number by your bed.”

Xander panicked. He had a zillion questions he needed to ask this woman, including, but not limited to ‘who are you?’, ‘what are you doing in my bed?’ and ‘what the hell happened last night?’. He flung the bathroom door open, to be confronted by a now clothed woman. Something trickled into his mind. A name. Amy? Annie? Anya. Buffy’s cousin Anya.

“Anya?” He cringed, hoping he at least had the right name for the girl. “What happened last night?” Anya looked at him, frowning slightly.

“We were at Buffy’s party, then we came here, and now I’m going back to Buffy’s,” was the curt reply.

Xander scratched his neck awkwardly, hoping she would have taken the hint to give him a little more than the little he already knew. “Yeah… But did we… did we, uh…”

Anya gave him the quizzical look again. Then her face brightened, the fog of confusion clearing. “Oh, you mean ‘did we have intercourse?’ No. You were very drunk. We kissed, and just as it was getting to the good bit, you passed out. But you are very well endowed, so I anticipate many satisfying orgasms with you before I go back to college.” And with that, she left, as her statement had apparently settled the matter.

Xander staggered over to his bed and collapsed down onto it. He felt disgusted with himself. He had just done to Spike exactly what _Angel_ had done. Except this was worse. Because this was _him._ It meant that he had betrayed Spike, and was no better than the pathetic arsehole that was Liam. Xander stared at the cracked, yellowing ceiling, praying it would give him an answer. But the ceiling didn’t reveal any comforting words of wisdom beyond the winding path of a spider that crept silently along.

***

Spike had let Liam in, and they stood in the living room, both looking unsure as to what was meant to happen next. Eventually, Spike gave a nervous chuckle and motioned for Liam to sit on the couch. _The couch Spike had shared with Xander. In the room where he had come out to his father._ Spike closed his eyes for a second and swallowed heavily, biting back the pain of the memory. Liam noticed the look on Spike’s face. He leant across and laced his fingers with Spike’s. Spike didn’t pull away.

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong?” he asked, genuinely concerned. Spike shook his head. He wasn’t looking for comfort. He was looking for a distraction. As if on cue, his father walked in, not looking happy.

“William, I have to go out for a while. There’s a problem at work that I must see to. I’ll leave you some money for a pizza in case I’m not home by tea time. I trust you boys will behave while I’m gone? I don’t want to walk in to a repeat of the other day.” Spike nodded, again looking mortified. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of his body, or ashamed of Xander in any way at all. It was just that being caught in the act by a parent is something that no-one ever wants to experience. Spike could testify whole heartedly that the experience would never be repeated in his entire life time.

When Giles had left, leaving a hundred dollars on the table – Spike had a theory that his dad had no idea at all as to how much anything cost- Liam turned to Spike. “The other day? What did you do?”

Spike frowned, but when he looked, there was no trace of malice on Liam’s face, just honest curiosity. Spike began tracing his thumb down the side of Liam’s hand, absentmindedly, the way he had done when they were together. “I got caught by my da.”

“Doing what?”

Spike looked at the floor, his face still flame red. “Take a wild guess. Anyway, he wasn’t too impressed at his son being a fairy and banned me from seeing my boyfriend here. Guess he feels you’re on the safe list, now you’re my ex.” Spike remained staring at the fascinating weave of the carpet, and as such missed the look of hurt that flashed across Liam’s face.

“Yeah, well… a decade late and a penny short, that’s me.” Liam sighed ruefully, before grinning at Spike. “So how about this pizza then?” Spike grinned back, feeling better already.

***

Xander sat on the edge of his bed, now dressed in actual clothes instead of just boxers. He seemed to have run through every emotion a human being could possibly feel in just a few hours. Happy, that he hadn’t had sex with Anya. Sad, that he had done something that could damage what he had with Spike. Fear, that Spike would find out and leave him. Anger, that he had let himself get so drunk in the first place. And a million more besides. He was dragged from his current emotion, self-pity, by the sounds of his mother’s feet on the stairs down to his basement bedroom.

Jessica wordlessly handed Xander a cup of coffee and waited. She knew, thanks to mother’s intuition, that her son needed to talk. She just wasn’t sure what it was going to be about. The silence between them dragged on, broken only by the wet slurps as Xander drank his coffee.

“I met a friend of yours today. Blonde boy, bit of an accent?” She didn’t miss the cringe that momentarily crossed Xander’s face. “He seemed very upset. Did you know she was his girlfriend?”

Xander looked up, confusion etched across his features. “Spike and Anya? They only met last night.”

“Oh… Well, he was upset about something. Took one look at the pair of you and left.”

Xander paled. Spike had seen. The nearly empty coffee mug slid from his grasp, shattering on the floor. Jessica pulled Xander into a hug as the tears started to fall.

“I’ve messed up bad this time, mom.” He whispered between sobs. Jessica hugged him tighter, rocking him slightly, the way she had when he was just a child.


	16. Chapter 16

The pizza had arrived and Spike and Liam had demolished most of it and the best part of two six packs of beer in within half an hour. Things between the two boys had developed from barely contained hostility on Spike’s part to the comfortable friendliness that only comes from alcohol. Spike was pleasantly buzzed and laughing at something on TV. Liam was watching him laugh, thinking that Spike’s smile might just be the best thing he had ever seen in his life.

Spike relaxed against Liam’s side, resting his head on the larger boy’s shoulder. The alcohol was relaxing him quicker than he would have liked, but it did mean forgetting about Xander for a little while, and that bitch he had been in bed with. What hurt the most was the lying about it. That Xander had said that he would call, and instead had gone to bed with a vicious little blonde tramp. Oh, and the fact that Xander hadn’t even called to apologize. That one hurt a fair amount too.

Spike slumped down on the couch, his head resting in Liam’s lap instead of his shoulder, and stared blankly at the television screen, unable to take any of the pretty colours and sounds in. His mind was firmly back in Xander-land.

He sat up again, and reached for his open can of beer on the coffee table. Somewhere in the process, the slightly spinning room made his hand not reach the mind-numbing liquid, sending the can to the floor, staining the pale carpet. Spike snickered like it was the funniest thing that could have happened.

“And on that note, I think its time for you to stop drinking,” Liam told him with a soft smile. Spike scowled. Who was this guy to tell him what to do?

Spike stood up abruptly, intent on letting Liam know just what he thought of that idea. However, somewhere between thinking about standing and actually managing it, the pesky room span again, and Spike landed heavily on his ass on the floor. Liam sighed. Obviously it was ‘take care of the drunk guy’ day and no-one had thought to inform him. He held out a hand to pull Spike to his feet again. Spike took the offered hand and hoisted himself up, Liam’s added strength causing him to land against the other boy’s body.

Liam took a moment to look at the blonde leaning against him, hands gripping tight to make sure he didn’t fall again. All the laughter and light had gone from Spike’s eyes. In its place were unshed tears. Spike looked up into Liam’s eyes and for a moment, Liam forgot about everything. About the break-up, about Cordelia, about the names he had called both Spike and Xander… In that moment, all that existed was himself and Spike.

His gaze travelled down to the full, pink lips that he knew felt so good against his own. Without thinking, he leant down, intent on capturing them in a kiss, to chase away those unshed tears, to be with Spike. Their lips brushed, just gently. Liam pressed deeper into the kiss, moaning at how right it felt to be kissing the blonde again. Without warning, Spike pushed away, barely concealed anger flashing across his features.

“What the fuck, Liam?” he spat. Liam’s anger flared.

“Oh, you wanted it. Don’t deny it,” Liam growled back. “Why else would you have let me in your house? Sat so close to me? Kissed me back?”

Spike spluttered at the accusation, feeling suddenly all too sober. “I did _not_ kiss you back. I should have stopped you the second your lips met mine. _You_ cheated on me, Liam. You cheated and called me a, what was it? Oh, yeah, you called me a fag and a cocksucker.”

Liam’s fist swung out before Spike could properly brace for the impact. The blow caught his jaw and he fell to the floor again, looking up at Liam with distain. Before he could right himself, Liam grabbed hold of the front of Spike’s shirt and dragged him forward. Spike’s face was only inches away from the crotch of Liam’s pants and he had an uneasy feeling that he knew what was coming next.

“You are a cocksucker. And a fag. You couldn’t even keep a loser like Harris satisfied, could you? You’re pathetic.” Liam’s fingers fumbled with his zipper and Spike began to struggle against the tight grip Liam still had on him. “You gunna show me what a good cocksucker you are? Or am I going to have to make you?”

Gripped by panic, his fight or flight instinct on red alert, Spike made a choked noise and tried to shove Liam away from him, succeeding only in putting a few paces between them. But it was enough to weaken Liam’s grip and Spike stood, fists clenched and breathing heavy. When Liam stepped toward him again, Spike brought his knee up in a sharp movement, connecting heavily with Liam’s groin. He took little pleasure in the sickly shade of green that tainted the larger boy’s cheeks, instead taking the time to regroup and put some more distance between himself and Liam. He grabbed the house phone from the table it had been left on and turned to Liam.

“You have twenty seconds to get the fuck out of my house or I’m calling the police. I was an idiot to think you could ever change.” The anger and pain was evident in his voice. Liam scrambled to his feet, mindful of his painful testicles- Spike had very bony knees. Spike listened as the front door opened and clicked shut again. He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and slumped against the sofa, not really caring about the fact he was probably sitting in the puddle of spilt beer. He ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up in an endearing way, before smoothing it back down again, the action somehow soothing. All he could think about was how close he had been to becoming a victim, and how much he wished Xander was there with him, holding him close, making it all better.

***

Xander had told his mother everything, without making eye contact with her at all. The hardest part was explaining about his relationship with Spike, followed closely by the conversation he had had with Anya before she left. When he finished talking, he risked a glance at his mom, noting her pursed lips and uneasy expression. Neither of Xander’s parents were poster children for tolerance, but she was actually handling it a lot better than Xander had expected. So far there had been no yelling or threatening, so that was a tick in the plus column.

When Jessica spoke, after a few nerve-wracking moments of silence, there was no trace of any emotion in her voice. “I think you owe this Spike an apology. And an explanation. You can go now, but when you get back, you and I will be having a proper conversation about responsible behaviour, and you are grounded for two weeks.”

Xander’s eyes went wide. “Why am I grounded?!”

“Because you were drinking underage and because you brought home a stranger in the middle of the night without asking me or your father.” Jessica explained, trying to remain collected, although a touch of annoyance tinted her words.

 _Like you can talk,_ Xander thought. _You’re probably on your second bottle of the day by now. Although kudos for trying to earn some points in the parent-of-the-year poll._ “Is there really any point grounding me when I never go anywhere except school? _If_ Spike’s willing to talk to me, which I doubt, he’ll probably just want some space anyway.” His eyes filled with tears, which he brushed angrily away before they could fall.

Jessica sighed and pulled him in for a hug. “Don’t assume.” She gently patted his back and let him out of her embrace. “Now go and talk to him.” She stood and began back up the stairs. Before she reached the top, she turned and looked at Xander. “Don’t tell your father about this… thing with Spike. You know how he gets…” And with that, she left the basement.


	17. Chapter 17

Xander trudged wearily down the sidewalk towards Spike’s house. Everything about the day felt wrong. The sun was shining in a way that seemed to mock him, to make everything seem happier than it really was. The slight breeze ruffled the leaves of the trees in a playful way, like everything was normal and fine. All the colours of everything- the front doors of houses, the fire hydrants he passed, the pretty little birds that flitted through the sky to alight of too colourful branches of trees- seemed to bright, too vivid, for what he was feeling. He felt hollow. He felt like shit. He had hurt Spike and was grounded and was going to have to _talk_ to Spike and explain everything…

He kept watching his feet when he couldn’t bear the colours of anything else, so he didn’t see when another person rounded the corner to the street where Spike lived. The heavy body collided with his own, knocking him back a few paces. Xander mumbled an apology, briefly glancing up. Immediately he wished he hadn’t. The solid wall of person he had walked into was the last person he wanted to see. Liam.

The look of momentary surprise on Liam’s face melted to pure contempt. He sneered at Xander.

“Going to see your little boyfriend? Gotta warn you, he might not want to see you right now. Me and Spike? We got close again, and there’s not a chance in hell that you can compete with what me and him have.”

 _Have. Not had,_ Xander thought. Did that mean that Spike and Liam were together again? Had they…? No. Spike wouldn’t do that. Xander trusted Spike. But Liam… Liam was someone that he could never trust. Ignoring the implication, Xander pushed past Liam and continued towards Spike’s door, heart thudding in his chest and threatening to beat right through the skin.

Out of Xander’s line of sight, Liam closed his eyes, letting pain and regret wash over him. _Why do I do this? Why do I keep hurting him?_ Shaking his head, he wandered off, eyes fixed on the sidewalk in an unintentionally near perfect copy of the way Xander had been walking.

***

The knock on the door made Spike jump. He hadn’t been expecting anyone to come over. Apart from Liam, Buffy and Xander, there was no-one he knew well enough to invite over. Being peripherally popular- popular by association, Liam had said once- wasn’t as glamorous as he had thought it would be. Sure, he had been surrounded by people, but he always felt that his presence was only tolerated because of his friendship with Liam. He had said as much a time or two before, lying shirtless on Liam’s bed, the taller boy naked next to him, but Liam had assured him that he was liked, that he was liked for his own merits. ‘Girls want to be with you and guys want to be you,’ Liam had said. ‘But you’re all mine, aren’t you? Just mine.’

A second rap of knuckles on the door snapped Spike out of his musings. He cautiously crept towards the door, securing the chain before turning the handle. If it was Liam, he wasn’t risking letting him in again. The chain gave him a little more security. He peeked through the opening, breath catching at the glimpse he got of brunette hair before the face of his visitor came into focus. Xander. His Xander. His Xander was stood on the doorstep, looking thoroughly miserable.

“Xander? What are you doing here?” Spike cringed at the sound of his own voice. He sounded like he had been swallowing gravel, although he wasn’t sure why- he hadn’t cried so much as sat in stunned silence.

“Can I come in? I, uh, I need to talk to you.” The hesitancy in Xander’s voice made the bottom drop out of Spike’s stomach. _The dreaded ‘we need to talk’ speech…_

“Sure. Sure…” Spike pushed the door closed to unlatch the chain before opening it fully to let Xander inside. Xander’s breath caught in his throat and tears formed unbidden at Spike’s appearance. The normally perfectly gelled hair was in disarray, the clothes rumpled and there were dark circles under the startlingly blue eyes. Which could have meant a number of things- that Spike had had a rough night and had fallen asleep wearing his clothes, or that he had hurried to get dressed after a night of being thoroughly fucked by Liam. Xander hoped it wasn’t the second one.

He followed Spike through to the kitchen, watching as Spike pulled two glasses from a cabinet, two cans of coke from the stainless steel fridge and a bottle of Jack Daniels from the very front of what must have been his father’s liquor cabinet. They sat at the table in silence, the only sound the brief metallic sound of the cans being opened, followed by the soft fizz of the liquid as it was poured into glasses. Spike ran his fingers absentmindedly over the cap of the whiskey bottle, debating whether or not to be the first to speak. In the end, the decision was taken from him by Xander.

“I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry you saw… what you saw. And for not calling. But I can explain. Well, sort of. But I need you to understand. Please? I’m sorry for hurting you, but will you let me explain, please?” Spike forced himself not to smile at Xander’s babbling. It was cute, endearing even. Spike looked him directly in the eye, trying to gauge the depth of Xander’s sincerity. After a tense moment, Spike nodded.

He listened to Xander’s shaky indrawn breath, hating that he already had a bad feeling that he knew what would be said. Despite the beer he had consumed earlier, he felt horribly sober. Dragging the bottle closer to him, Spike twisted the cap off and poured a generous amount into the glass still half full of cola. He offered the bottle to Xander, who declined. Spike shrugged, taking a swig from the bottle before tightening the cap again. Spike knew that he should probably stuck to beer, but he wanted the distracting burn of the harsher alcohol. It was calming. It was… nice.  

“I didn’t sleep with her,” Xander blurted out. “I mean, I slept with her in the sense of sleeping, but I didn’t _sleep with her_ sleep with her. I was really drunk and I know that’s not an excuse, but I need to tell you anyway. I didn’t cheat. I know what you thought you saw, but it wasn’t like that. And I’m sorry I didn’t call. I know I said I would, but, like I just said, I was drunk. I don’t even remember leaving the party…” Xander trailed off, unable to look at Spike, afraid of the distain he would see there. “I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore. I know you have better options. But I’ve said what I needed to, and thank you for letting me. I’ll… I’ll leave you alone now.” He stood up, fully intending to leave Spike alone.

Spike’s hand shot out, circling Xander’s wrist firmly, although he never once looked up from the dark liquid in the glass in front of him. “Spike…?” Xander whispered, worried by the silence that seemed to thickly swirl around the blonde like a physical presence.

“You’ve said your piece, so now it’s my turn,” Spike told him, his voice curiously devoid of emotion. “I didn’t like seeing you with her. I don’t like the fact that you got so drunk you can’t remember what happened. But I’m not your keeper. I can’t tell you what to do or what not to do. I’m not Liam.” Spike let out a humourless laugh. “No. I’m nothing like Liam. Neither are you. For a start, I trust you. Even though you hurt me, I trust you.”

Xander swallowed, his throat dry. He took a swig of Spike’s whisky filled drink, ignoring the nearly full glass in front of the seat he had been sitting in. Maybe the alcohol would numb him a bit when he heard the answer to the question he didn’t want to ask. “Did you sleep with Liam?”

Spike’s grip on Xander’s wrist tightened painfully, but that was nothing compared to the look of hurt and panic on Spike’s face. “No. He tried, but I didn’t… didn’t want that. Didn’t want him.” The hurt and panic changed swiftly to defiance and sincerity. “I don’t cheat, Xander. And until you tell me it’s over between us, there won’t be anyone else. I can promise you that.”

Xander pulled Spike to his feet, hugging the blonde, feeling the tension drain from the strong shoulders. He carded his fingers through the soft hair, and Spike kissed his neck gently. Xander’s other hand skimmed down Spike’s back, resting on the waistband of his jeans. Spike kept kissing Xander, trailing feathery kisses and nibbles over the neck and jaw line, loving the way the sensations made Xander’s breathing deepen. More kisses over Xander’s chin, before their mouths met in the most tender kiss either could ever imagine.

The kiss deepened, Xander’s tongue licking at the Spike’s lips, encouraging the lips to part. They did, and their tongues met in an intricate dance. Spike pushed Xander back against the table, and took control of the kiss. Xander moaned into his mouth as the sensations sent tingles down his spine. His hands slipped lower, over the firm globes of Spike’s backside. Spike echoed Xander’s moan. Xander was aware of the hard length of Spike’s cock pressing against his hip, the tight denim not leaving much to the imagination. Not that Xander needed to imagine. No, sir, he had the visual firmly in his head.

A cough made both boys start, and the kiss broke, Xander taking a second to mourn the loss of Spike’s lips on his. “Well, at least you’re more clothed than the last time,” Giles said with a rueful smile, stood in the doorway leading from the hallway to the kitchen. Xander’s hands left Spike’s backside and Spike rested his head against Xander’s shoulder in an intimate gesture.

“Hey Da. You’re back early,” Spike said, as innocently as possible given the circumstances.

“Yes. As it turns out, it wasn’t a crisis so much as a, erm, something that is smaller than a crisis.” Giles looked suitably embarrassed at not being able to thing of the correct word, but shook of his discomfort. “Someone broke a coffee mug and had a panic attack when his Dystychiphobia set in. He had a panic attack, but it’s all sorted now. So do you want to explain to my why Xander is here again when I expressly told you he wasn’t to come over?”

Xander blushed. Spike closed his eyes, pressing a little closer to Xander’s larger body. “He came over to apologize. And we talked. Can he stay for a while? Please?” Giles took in the death grip his son had on the other boy’s shirt and sighed.

“One hour. That’s it. Now I am going to find my reading book and try to relax for a while.”

“Thanks, Da,” Spike said, a relieved smile gracing his features. He was still a little shaky from what had happened with Liam, and he had no desire to be alone. As his father wandered into the living room, Spike captured Xander’s lips with his own and grinned when Xander kissed him back. _Can never get enough Xander kisses,_ he decided.


	18. Epic Love Limericks

One hour would never be enough, Spike thought, stealing a third kiss from Xander. They were on their way to Spike's bedroom, although the journey up the stairs was hampered somewhat by the need to stop on e

very other step and kiss. However, an angry shout from the direction of the living room had them slamming and locking the door and falling on the bed, giggling like children as an outraged Rupert Giles berated his son for the beer-stained carpet, promising that the cleaning bill would be paid for out of Spike's allowance. The giggles stopped as the memory of just how the beer had got spilled flooded back.  
  
Xander caught the mix of panic and sadness that crossed the blonde's face. He hated seeing that on anyone, especially someone he cared about. It was something he had seen on his mother's face too many times to count. He reached out a comforting hand, gently squeezing Spike's shoulder, but cringed and withdrew when the touch made Spike jump.  
  
"Sorry," he whispered into the quiet room, avoiding eye contact with the blonde.  
  
"Shh... Not your fault, love," Spike whispered back. "'S my fault for being an idiot. Should have never spoken to him. Still, twenty-twenty hindsight's a bitch, ain't it?" He took Xander's hand and stroked the soft skin. Xander relaxed at the contact. His worry was further reduced when Spike lent over and kissed him gently on the lips. It was a chaste kiss that spoke of promised passion nevertheless.  
  
Spike opened his eyes as the kiss broke, meeting Xander's lust filled gaze. Their hands were wandering over each other's backs, and when the tips of Xander's fingers dipped into the waistband of Spike's pants, both moaned. The soft strip of flesh felt like silk and Xander knew it would feel even better if he licked it. His dick twitched and began to harden again. Pulling away from the teasing touches, he tried to calm down, to regain some self-control, but that disappeared entirely when he looked over at Spike.  
  
The blonde's lips were swollen from their kisses, and his hair was a riot of curls from the combination of Xander's attention and his earlier ordeal. In short, Spike looked like a debauched angel. It took all of Xander's willpower not to launch himself back into the blonde's embrace.  
  
Spike seemed to understand, as he stood up and sauntered over to the CD player. Xander was grateful, as heavy metal wasn't at the top of his list of romantic music. Spike shot him a wicked grin. The sultry voice of Sarah Vaughan drifted from the speakers, accompanied by soft jazz music that Xander wouldn't in a million years have associated with a bad boy punk like Spike. At Xander's confused look, he smiled.  
  
"Thought a little music might help to set the mood," he murmured, sitting back down, his thigh pressing against Xander's and his fingers tracing patterns nearer and nearer to the brunette's groin. As the CD player kept playing, and Ms Vaughan sang on about Summertime, Spike leant over and gently eased his body over Xander's, so that the larger boy was lying on the bed with Spike covering him like a horny human blanket.  
  
This time, the kiss was wild, nearly savage in its intensity and if Xander had doubted that Spike wanted him, those doubts were no longer an issue. Gone was the insecurity, gone was the jealousy. Gone were all the thoughts that could possibly have anything to do with anything other than the hard cock pressing against his own through layers of denim, and the tongue that was battling with his own. As the song changed to one he recognized, Spike's nimble fingers undid Xander's flies.  
  
"Can this be our song?" Spike asked, his hand closing on Xander's erection as Peggy Lee crooned out the first line of lyrics.  
  
"Guh?" was the best Xander could manage.  
  
"Because you are, y'know? The man I love?" The look on his face told Xander that this was the truth, but he didn't have a chance to comment, as Spike had slid further down the bed and engulfed Xander's thick hard-on in his hot, wet mouth. Xander babbled incoherently, vaguely aware of Spike shucking off his own pants. The sight of Spike sucking his dick was nearly too much for Xander, and he closed his eyes tight, thinking of anything besides the blonde lavishing attention on him.  
  
Spike glanced up at Xander and nearly laughed at the tortured expression. As quietly as possible, he tore open the foil packet of the condom he'd hidden under the mattress. In one smooth motion, he released Xander's throbbing cock from his mouth and rolled the latex cover over it. Xander's eyes snapped open when Spike straddled his waist. As Spike shifted to position Xander's hard-on against his tight entrance, Xander grabbed the blonde's hips, stilling all attempts at movement.  
"Don't take this the wrong way," he began, breathing deeply in an effort to calm himself, "but I don't think we're ready for this. Or at least I know I'm not. This- and I realise I'm actually turning into a woman as I say this- but it’s about expressing something. And I think you're rushing things to prove something." Little Xander twitched disapprovingly, letting Big Xander know his displeasure at being denied getting laid.  
  
Spike pulled off abruptly, unwilling to look at Xander as the tears filled his eyes. Fighting them back, he let the hurt get overcome by anger.  
  
"Gunna go back to your girlfriend?" he sneered, putting so much emphasis on the last word that Xander cringed. "Glad you enjoyed your visit to gay town, now kindly fuck off." There was so much venom in Spike's voice that Xander didn't think of hesitating. He pulled off the condom and tossed it in the trash before getting dressed as fast as possible.  
  
"I'll call you later," Xander promised. Spike didn't reply or acknowledge him at all. Xander sighed and left, wondering what kind of fate hated him enough to do this to him.  
  
***  
  
The second Xander left, Spike knew he had screwed up. Deep down, he knew Xander was right, that neither of them were really ready for such a big step, but the rejection still hurt. He redressed slowly, caught in his own thoughts before sighing and sitting down heavily on the bed that still smelt like Xander.  
  
***  
  
Xander met his mother's eyes the minute he got home. His miserable expression told her everything she needed to know. Gathering her son up in a hug, she let him cry out his pain on her shoulder.  
  
When the tears had stopped, Xander hiccupped pathetically and dried his eyes. Crying gave him a headache, so for the most part, he forced himself to grin and bear it. This was the most he had cried since his grandma had died; Xander had been six at the time, and he still remembered the way his dad had laughed at him and called him a 'useless, girly, waste of space'.  
  
"I'll call him later. When he's had a chance to calm down. He's hurting, that's all," Xander justified, sniffing slightly and rubbing his eyes again. Jess nodded, rubbing soothing patterns on his back like she hadn't done since Xander was a baby.  
  
***  
  
Spike stormed down the stairs, making as much noise as possible. Giles didn't look up from the newspaper as the kitchen door bounced off the wall.  
  
"You!" Spike barked, pointing a finger at his dad. "Need a number for a flower shop. Or a chocolate shop. Look into that for me. I fucked up big time."  
  
Rupert took a sip of his tea. "Language, William. And I'd thank you to remember that I am your father, not your employee. As for phone numbers, there's a big yellow book that has that information."  
  
Spike scowled and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'fuck your 'language'', both of which Giles chose to ignore. Spike continued to mutter and curse under his breath while shifting restlessly from one side of the kitchen to the other.  
  
"If you will insist on wandering aimlessly about, please do so elsewhere. If you would like to talk, sit down and do so as a reasonable adult instead of acting like a petulant five year old." Giles put the paper aside and folded his hands under his chin. Spike glared at him before giving up his battle of wills.  
  
"I'm turning into Liam. No, I'm worse than him. I said- and did- some things that I don't know that I can take back. I was a right bastard. He deserves better than that." He slumped forward, draping himself inelegantly over the table, looking utterly dejected. Giles awkwardly patted his son's hand in what he hoped was a comforting way.  
  
"Did you intend to harm, erm, Xander?" Giles asked.  
  
"Of course not! I just... Over reacted. Again," Spike replied.  
  
"I see. I don't suppose for a moment that you would tell me what got said or done, so I'll give you the best advice I can; if you care about him, you'll find a way to fix it. If he cares about you, he'll be trying too."  
  
"He said he'd call later," Spike said, trying and failing to disguise the note of hope in his voice. Giles smiled.  
  
"That's good. Now, you should get those phone numbers and order him something special." Spike nodded absently and stood. When he reached the door, he turned, and headed back to the table. He gave Giles an awkward hug, which was returned with equal awkwardness, and wandered off in search of the phone book.  
  
***  
  
Half an hour later, Spike had ordered the biggest box of chocolates from the most expensive chocolate shop he could find listed in the book to be delivered to Xander's house. As his mum had said, 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach'. He'd also ordered a Japanese peace lily and prayed to whichever god or saint was in charge of fixing gay relationships that Xander wouldn't be offended by a girly gift like flowers. In his defence, it was a living plant rather than cut flowers, which was slightly more manly, although Spike had his doubts as to how long a plant could survive in Xander's dank, sunless basement apartment.  
  
Convinced he had done as much as he could, Spike sat by the phone and waited for Xander's call.  
  
***  
  
Xander woke in front of the television in his basement. He vaguely remembered switching the box on and staring blankly at the pretty lights and colours, but he had no recollection of falling asleep. He did, however, have a crick in his neck and the horrible feeling that he was once again going to be late for school. It was only once he had showered and dressed that he glanced at the clock. Which was telling him it was four AM. With a frustrated groan, Xander stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed.  
  
***  
  
The sun was on its way to rising when Giles gently shook Spike awake. From the way the blonde was sleeping- once again slumped over a table, house phone and cell phone in easy reach- Rupert was willing to put a lot of money on Xander having not called. The paternal instinct, the part of him that was buried under a lifetime of proper, English emotional repression and stiff upper-lippedness, grumbled menacingly inside him; no one, of any gender or orientation, should be allowed to hurt _his_ son and get away with it.  
  
Spike blinked sleepily at the much too away vision of his father. For a moment, he looked around in confusion before remembering where he was and why. He scowled at the phones in front of him as though it was their fault Xander hadn't called, although the effect was ruined slightly by an unsuccessfully stifled yawn. Feeling worse than he had since the time of the swimming competition trip, Spike got ready for school.  
  
***  
  
Neither boy saw the other that morning. The only reason Xander knew Spike was even in school was because of coach McAllister. The burly man had cornered him just as the bell was about to ring.  
  
"Harris!" McAllister bellowed. "Training begins again in one week. I've cleared it with Spud or Spill or whatever ridiculous moniker he goes by. We won't be having another shambolic performance like in LA, do we?"  
  
Xander shook his head. "No sir," he mumbled.  
  
"Excellent!" Bernie praised, clapping one enormous hand on Xander's shoulder. "Talk to Splat about reshuffling the teams too." Xander nodded again and headed off to class, pissed that McAllister hadn't even offered to write him a late note.  
  
***  
  
Spike spent his free period in the back of Oz's van, steadily working his way through a pack of smokes. A free before lunch was a godsend as far as Spike was concerned. He'd grown gradually more angry as the hours crept by, no thanks to Liam, who was making a fool of himself trying to flirt with him whilst fawning over Cordelia. The hurt of Xander's avoidance had only been exasperated by Liam's painful reminder that Spike only seemed worthy of rejecting. A pop quiz in history had nearly pushed the blonde beyond his tolerance level.  
  
None of that seemed to matter though. Not with the sweet smoke from Oz's spliff pervading his lungs and mind. Spike didn't smoke the stuff himself, but he certainly wasn't opposed to letting himself mellow out with a contact high. Besides, Oz was a good sort of bloke- pretty monosyllabic most of the time, but cool with anything so long as it didn't get in the way of him smoking pot. Sometimes, Spike was sure that they could have entire conversations without either of them saying a word or even. Being on the same page. This was one of those times, and Spike agreed wholeheartedly with whatever it was Oz was or wasn't saying. He was fairly sure it had something to do with Xander. Or maybe pretzels. Either way, it required Spike leaving the van and finding something. Or possibly someone...  
  
The first someone he ran into was Buffy. She hugged him tight, and if Spike _had_ managed to find those pretzels he had been after, there was a high chance that they would have been making a reappearance over her pretty pink dress; for a not so tall girl, she had a freakishly strong grip.  
  
"Hey," he belatedly greeted, disentangling himself from the embrace.  
  
"Hey," she returned, beaming at him. There was something suspicious about her perky smile that Spike couldn't quite put his finger on. "How's Xander?" she continued when it became obvious that Spike wasn't going to be a particularly good conversationalist. "I hear that he and Anya had a good time after the party..."  
  
Spike's expression. Darkened. The happy, calm, mellow feeling once again dissipated into barely controlled rage. "Change the subject."  
  
Buffy's eyes lit up. "Ooh... Is that a spot of jealousy I see?" she teased.  
  
"Doesn't matter if I'm jealous or not. He's avoiding me. I screwed everything up, Buffy," he growled at her. Buffy took an involuntary step backwards. Spike might not be as tall as some of the other guys in the school, but he could still be threatening when he wanted to be. The pair remained silent for a while, unsure of the social protocol given the situation. Spike waited expectantly for Buffy to speak. "You've screwed up plenty of relationships. How do I fix it?" he prompted.  
  
"Thanks!" she replied, the sarcasm evident in her voice. Spike rolled his eyes at her. Buffy shrugged. "Have you tried doing something romantic? Ooh! Write him a poem!"  
  
Spike looked at her as if she had grown an extra head. "I don't know if torture would be a good idea--" he began, before being cut off by an excited looking Buffy.  
  
"He'll love it!" she insisted.  
  
***  
  
Twenty minutes later, Buffy and Spike were sat at a table in the school library.  
  
"Really?! That's the best you could manage?" Buffy asked. Spike gave her a derisive look.  
  
"Just call me William the Bloody Awful Poet..." he muttered, running his fingers through his hair for the hundredth time, loose curls forming where the gel was worked out. Buffy thought it made him look adorable, not that she would say that to his face.  
  
"Well, it came from the heart, and that's what really matters, right?" she reasoned. Spike chose to remain sceptical and began preparing for the worst.  
  
***  
  
Spike waited in an empty classroom while Buffy slipped the piece of paper into Xander's locker. His heart was pounding in his chest and his mouth was dry. Buffy's attempts at calming reassurance had fallen on deaf ears. Every now and then Spike would jump at the sound of footsteps coming down the corridor. When he finally caught sight of Xander, walking slowly towards the metal box he called his locker, inconspicuous amongst so many other boxes lining the wall, Spike could have sworn that his heart skipped a beat. He gripped Buffy's hand tightly, almost uncomfortably so. She squeezed back and the pair waited with bated breath to see Xander's reaction.  
  
***  
  
Xander scuffed his trainers against the tiled floor, not really paying attention to where he was going, trusting himself to reach his locker without incident. He was distracted to say the least; he hadn't seen Spike all day and the tension was killing him. Sighing disappointedly, he twisted the combination dial and swung the door of the locker open. It creaked in protest. As he grabbed the books he needed for next period, a slip of paper fluttered to the floor. Curiosity piqued, he bent to retrieve it. What he saw made him laugh out loud.

My love's name is Xander  
And he doesn't look like a panda.  
If his name was Bob  
I'd do a better job  
Because nothing much rhymes with Xander.

  


It was the sweetest thing he had ever read, and the best present he had ever been given- even better than the limited edition Spiderman comic that Willow had given him for Christmas. No one had ever written him an epic love limerick before. Putting the note back in his locker for safe keeping, Xander shut the door and hurried off to find Spike.  
  
***  
  
Liam seethed. He spent the whole day subtly flirting with Spike with no success whatsoever. The blonde just seemed to have developed a sudden immunity to Liam's usually irresistible charm. And to add insult to... well, insult, that idiot Harris had started grinning like a loon. Liam would bet good money that the ridiculous smile had something to do with Spike. 'Not for long' Liam thought to himself. 'I told you before, Harris; if I can't have him, no one else can either.'  
  
***  
  
In the empty classroom, Buffy and Spike stared at each other. Of all the outcomes they could have predicted, outright laughter hadn't been close to the top of the list. Neither had thought that Xander would be that cruel. Spike was suddenly glad that he hadn't been able to see the expression on Xander's face as the brunette had read the poem. He didn't think he could have handled seeing the look of contempt and ridicule ever again in his life, and especially not on Xander.  
  
Buffy watched Spike leave, leather coat billowing behind him, everyone in his path moving aside out of fear and respect. She refused to pity him; he didn't need it and he wouldn't appreciate it. But she decided that she would be having strong words with Alexander Harris very soon.  
  
Buffy frowned, shook her head and wondered exactly when she had become her mother.  
  
***  
  
Spike had been miserable all through the rest of the school day. Liam had noticed. From the looks of things, in Liam's eyes at least, Spike was regretting having chosen Xander over him. All the blonde needed was to find the courage to leave wimpy little Xander. Luckily, Liam had someone that would do the thinking for him.  
  
***  
  
Liam cornered Wesley in the library. The dark haired English boy was reading a large tome about chemistry, but closed the book at Liam's approach.  
  
"You owe me a favour," Liam began. Wes simply looked at him, waiting to find out what could possibly be so important as to have prompted Liam to enter the library of his own free will for the first time in his academic life. "I have to break up a relationship and you're going to tell me how."  
  
Wes sat back in his seat. "I see. You're bored of Cordelia already?"  
  
"What? No!" Liam denied. "I want to break up Spike and his... I don't care how they label themselves. I want them broken up. Tell me how to do it." Liam sat in the seat opposite Wes and waited somewhat impatiently for the other boy to think.  
  
"And if I do this, we'll be even?" Wes asked. Liam nodded. "Then here's your plan; you have to- how did Dickens phrase it?- resort to a few little trivial subterfuges for rousing jealousy and resentment."  
  
"Huh?" Liam asked, his face scrunched up in confusion.  
  
"It’s a quote from Barnaby Rudge by Charles Dickens," Wes replied, rolling his eyes at Liam.  
  
"Oh. Was that a film too? I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory last week. The one with Johnny Depp in it? That was by Charles Dickens wasn't it?"  
  
Wesley stared for a second, mourning the state of the American education system before nodding. "Yes Liam. Charles Dickens wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," he said, putting as much sarcasm into it as possible. Liam preened, looking smug.  
  
"See? I'm a literary genius. I don't need Spike to do my homework for me."  
  
"Good," Wes agreed distractedly. "Now about this plan?"  
  
"Right. The plan." Liam looked at Wes expectantly. The other boy reigned in his frustration and counted to ten in his head.  
  
"Think about what you know about him. Play on his weaknesses, his insecurities," Wes explained, as patiently as he could. Liam grinned. It was the sort of grin that Wes would have expected to see on a hungry panther- dangerous, deadly. Wes didn't like it one bit.  
  
"I know just where to start," Liam muttered darkly.


	19. Chapter 19

Jessica Harris picked her way through the debris in what had once been the living room. It currently resembled a disaster zone. The couch cushions had been slashed and the foam was strewn over the stained, faded carpet, intermingled with the shattered remnants of various knickknacks. Amongst the clutter she could see the fragments of what had not so long ago been her mother's treasured china plates, her murrini paperweight, now broken into tiny, colourful pieces, and, most painfully, the cast of Xander's hand print, cut cleanly down the palm, his name on one half and 'age 2 1/2' on the other. That cast had been proudly displayed on Dolores Wilson's- Xander's grandmother's- wall until her death, when Jessica had managed to find a hiding place for it in a cupboard. Next to the cracked plaster lay the tiny pile of photographs Jess had managed to salvage over the years, now torn to shreds and doused in bleach like the aftermath of an obscene ticker tape parade. The sharp, corrosive odour burned her sinuses.  
  
The was the outcome Jess had been in constant fear of since the first time Tony had got drunk. He had never been a particularly nice man; a bully from his school years and a violent drunk as an adult, Tony harris was best described as volatile. Since Xander's birth, less than two decades ago, Tony had spent more time in the company of alcohol than with his family. His rap sheet included several DUIs and more than once charge of disturbing the peace. But this was the first time the man had so thoroughly his own home. In twenty years of marriage, Tony had done his very best to beat the spirit from his wife and only child, but despite the blows and abuse and every hurtful, spiteful thing he could think of saying, neither Jess nor Xander had ever completely broken. It was something that had pissed him off no end.  
  
As with so many things, it was the smallest spark that ignited the powder keg that was Tony Harris' temper. In this case, it was a fifth of vodka for lunch and a delivery for his son. Flowers. Someone had sent his worthless, waste of space son flowers, like Xander was a piece of skirt that could be bought with pretty petals. Well, that wasn't acceptable for a Harris man. Xander may be useless, but he was still a Harris and no Harris would be treated like a faggot. The plant pot had hit the floor with a satisfying crash, soil and stem laying forlornly at his feet. The rest of the house had been dealt with in a similar fashion, the only surviving items being those that fit in his suitcase and the trunk of his car- namely the television, Jessica's jewellery and anything that looked even remotely like it might be worth pawning. He was gone before Jessica got back from the shops.  
  
Xander returned home from school to find his mother sorting through the chaos, trying to determine what could be mended and patched up and what was nothing more than fodder for the landfill. Tony, for all his failings as a husband and father, had done a very effective job of making sure that as little remained as possible. That which escaped his wrath amounted to less than a single small cardboard box full. Xander didn't bother checking the basement; he knew that anything with even the tiniest amount of obvious external value would be gone and the rest heaped on the floor, probably in a similar condition to the living room.  
  
Mother and son worked in silence, words neither wanted or needed. Everything that needed to be said was being screamed in the silence of the destruction.  
  
Xander phoned for a skip to come to the house and the police to press charges against Tony. Sunnydale was by no means a large town, and the Sunnydale police force were well aware of how out of control Tony could be. This was the first time they had been called to the house though.  
  
Detective Fillipps' sleek, blue Jaguar pulled up at the Harris residence just as the tow truck for the skip was leaving. Jessica Harris was stood in the doorway, wringing her hands, watching her son drag the first black bag of trash out the house. The boy- young man, Fillipps corrected himself- straightened up at the detective's approach, brushing his too long hair off his face. Xander was a good kid; how he had managed to avoid turning into his father was a mystery not even the seasoned detective could figure out.  
  
"Good afternoon," he began, immediately wishing he had started with something else. Very few people would be having a 'good evening' if they had to call the police and hire a skip. Cringing internally, he continued, "I'm detective Frank Fillipps. I understand you've called about a domestic disturbance?" _understatement of the year_ , he thought, peering through the front door.  
  
"Yeah," Xander replied, shaking the detective's hand firmly. "Dad's trashed the house and skipped town. Like a slimy, weasely... Weasel," he finished lamely.  
  
"I see," Frank said, smiling at the boy's ire. "May I have a look around, check the extent of the damage?" he asked. Jessica nodded her consent, too choked up to form words and not trusting herself not to cry like a baby the second she opened her mouth to speak.  
  
***  
  
As he took a good look at the ransacked home, Frank decided that 'domestic disturbance' didn't quite fit the scene he was seeing. Yes, he had been expecting bad, but this was so far beyond bad it was in a whole other zip code. The living room was trashed, as Xander had said, and the kitchen wasn't in much better shape. All the plates, dishes, saucepans, mugs and cutlery were on the floor, the china shattered and the metal bent out of shape, like leaving a single fork intact would have been a horror Tony couldn't bear. The back door was open and the smell of smoke wafted inside from the yard. A quick inspection revealed this to be coming from a metal trash can, where the still smoldering scraps of curtains, towels, dresses, shirts and bed linen now resided.  
  
The upstairs bedrooms were relatively unscathed in comparison to the lower level of the house it seemed. The smaller room was packed so full of furniture and boxes that it was impossible to step more than a foot or so onto the carpet before hitting an old lamp or chest of drawers. The door had a hole in it where Tony's boot had hit the flimsy wood. The master bedroom wasn't damaged as such, but all the drawers were either open or on the floor. The bed had been stripped and the covers thrown from the window towards the makeshift furnace. One of the pillow cases had caught on the metal latch and was bumping softly against the glass where the breeze caught it.  
  
The jewellery boxes had been emptied, and the wardrobe doors were flung open. The hidden valuables- in the underwear drawer, a favourite hiding place for those sorts of things- were missing too, and Jessica's underpants were scattered over the floor. Frank exercised his discretion and made a gentlemanly show of not looking, despite the fact that he was the only one in the room.  
  
***  
  
While Frank Fillipps looked around what had once been a comfortable, two bedroom family home, Xander was making calls. It seemed that every hotel, motel and bed & breakfast in a ten mile radius was fully booked thanks to a sci-fi convention. Still, Xander was being take charge guy, and that meant finding somewhere to stay. Dialing Willow's number, he waited for her to answer. It went to voicemail. Sighing, he waited for the beep.  
  
"Hey Wills, my bestest buddy in the whole wide world... Call me back as soon as you get this message. Please Wills." Short, sweet and to the point. There was only one other person he could call.  
  
***  
  
Spike was laying on the couch, watching A Return to Salem's Lot and shoveling candy into his mouth like it was going out of fashion. Horror films usually made him laugh, but not this time. He ignored the knock on the door in favour of another handful of sugary goodness.  
  
Rupert knocked on the door frame to announce his presence and Spike looked up. He snorted at the bunch of red roses the older man was holding.  
  
"Nice. You got yourself an admirer?" he remarked, raising one eyebrow at the flowers.  
  
"No. They're for you, actually. There's no card, so don't ask me who they're from", Giles replied, handing the flowers to the blonde. Spike sat up, his bad mood lifting as he stroked the soft petals. He smiled at Rupert, the first real smile all day.  
  
"They're... Nice," Spike allowed. "Might be from Xander," he almost audibly whispered. Giles smiled. His son could be so innocent at times.  
  
His cell phone chirped, and the smile got even bigger. Giles left as Spike pressed the accept button.  
  
"Hey Xan," Spike answered.  
  
 _"Hey. Erm, listen... I need to ask you a massive favour..."_  
  
Spike sat up straighter at the hesitancy and nervousness in the brunette's voice. "Anything," he assured.  
  
 _"Well, my dear old dad trashed the house and took off. The police are here now, but we have nowhere to go. It would only be for a few days..."_  
  
"Let me ask dad," the blonde said, happy to hear the relief in the brunette's mumbled "thanks".  
  
***  
  
Fillipps took his time checking the other rooms. The bathroom was a disaster zone. The sink looked like Tony had taken a sledgehammer to the porcelain, and the bath tub was full of partially empty bottles of bleach, shampoo and fruity smelling bubble bath. The smell of all the combined chemicals was overpowering, and Frank left quickly to check the final room, the basement.  
  
***  
  
Frank stepped out into the bright afternoon sunshine, puzzled as to what had caused Tony to destroy his own home. Xander and Jess were sat on the curb, talking softly. Frank cleared his throat to get their attention.  
  
"The house needs to be checked for evidence," he explained. "Is there anywhere you can stay until they're finished?"  
  
Xander nodded. "We're staying with friends. Did he leave any clothes, or..." he trailed off at Frank's expression.  
  
"I'm sorry," Fillipps told them with a sympathetic smile. Xander shrugged.  
  
"It was bound to happen sooner or later. I don't remember a time he was ever incapable of it. He's a bad guy detective." He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Can we go now? Spike's going to be here soon." Frank nodded and shook Xander's hand again, wondering if a nice lad like him would stay on the straight and narrow if he was hanging out with someone called Spike.  
  
"Here's my card," Frank told them. "If you hear from Mister Harris, let us know. Call me directly or call the station. Do you have a number I can contact you on?" He jotted down Xander's cell phone number and Spike's home number as Xander recited them, tucking the black notepad away just as the black DeSoto pulled up to the kerb.  
  
Spike climbed out the driver's side door, ignoring both Jess and Frank in favour of checking Xander over. The brunette didn't look injured, but Spike wanted to check for himself anyway. Xander accepted the fussing for a few seconds before hugging Spike tightly.  
  
"Are you okay, pet?" Spike murmured.  
  
"I'm fine. The house looks like a scene from a World War Two museum though. Mom's pretty shaken up," Xander replied. They broke their embrace, Spike's hand lingering on Xander's side for a moment before turning, nodding to the detective and opening the car door for Jessica. When all three were safely in the car, Spike started the engine and drove back to the Giles' residence.  



	20. Chapter 20

Rupert put the kettle on, tea being his go to thing whenever anything happened. While Anne was in labour with William, Rupert had gone through nearly fifty cups of tea. There had been Styrofoam cups overflowing from the tiny bin in the hospital room. Now was not much different. A cup of tea could fix any problem in the world, and if the world leaders could just take the time for a good cuppa, there would be no more trouble. Then again, there was that unfortunate incident in the late seventeen hundreds...

The steam spiralled hypnotically upwards, the rumble of boiling water soothing in its own strange way. Giles went about preparing the tea, adding leaves to the teapot and heating the milk to just the right temperature. No matter how long he lived in the States, he would never get used to using tea bags instead of leaves. It was unseemly for an Englishman like himself. William, on the other hand, had never taken to drinking tea in quite the same quantity that Rupert himself did. The youngest Giles drank his tea with more milk than necessary and a tooth-rotting amount of sugar. Hopefully the Harrises would prefer _their_ tea in a more civilized manner. The water finished boiling and Giles poured the steaming water into the teapot.

***

Spike's key turned effortlessly in the lock, creating just enough noise to let his dad know he was home. He and Xander both kicked off their shoes, Spike out habit, Xander in an effort to be polite. Jessica stood in the doorway, taking in the sheer size of the place. Compared to her own home, this was a palace. The Giles family clearly had money, but there was something missing in the too neat, almost clinical layout of the hallway that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

As she followed the two boys down the hall and into the kitchen, Jess took note of the stark, clean lines, the empty shelves and unadorned walls. Even in her own, often dilapidated house, there had been vases of flowers on the window sills, photographs and paintings on the walls and a general sense of lived-in-ness that was conspicuously missing here. It was missing a woman's touch.

"Da, this is Jessica Harris, Xander's mum," Spike announced, waving his hand between the two adults while not taking his eyes off Xander, who was awkwardly shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Jess was surprised at the appearance of the man before her. She had been expecting to encounter an older version of Spike, all leather and British roughness. What she found was a tweed-clad gentleman with greying hair and a reassuring smile. Despite the Californian heat, the older Giles man was wearing a tweed suit jacket, matching tweed bow tie and a shirt that was buttoned all the way up. In contrast, Spike looked practically chilled in his black jeans and t-shirt.

"It’s lovely to meet you, my dear," Rupert began. "And I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances."

"Thank you for having us stay. We'll be out of your hair as soon as possible," she replied, feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable at the mercy of near strangers.

"Shall I show Mrs Harris upstairs?" Spike asked, determined to prove himself to all three other occupants of the kitchen.

Giles smiled at his son. "Yes, William. And perhaps you could show Xander to his room too."

Spike stopped cringing at the use of his given name and stared at his dad like the old man had finally lost his mind. All that tea and tweed had actually caused brain damage. Spike laughed, assuming his dad was joking. There was no way he could be expected to live under the same roof as Xander and _not_ share a bed...

"Sure, dad," he laughed. "I'll show Xan upstairs later."

Giles smile never faltered. "Good. I'll pour the tea and then we can think about what to cook for dinner."

Spike laughed again. He had no idea where this comical side of his dad had sprung from, but here was the funny in spades today. Heating up canned beans and putting bread in the toaster didn't count as cooking dinner, and neither did phoning for take-out. That was all Rupert was capable of providing for dinner and both knew it.

Shaking his head, Spike led Jessica up the stairs to the first of the empty bedrooms. It was sandwiched between his own and his father's, and it was the most furnished of spare rooms.

When they had moved in, Spike had set the room up in an almost exact replica of his parent’s bedroom from their old house, up to and including hanging his mother's clothes in the wardrobe and putting the nice linens on the bed. His mother's perfume bottle was on the dresser, exactly as it had been, exactly as he remembered it. Giles had taken one look at Spike's hard work and set about moving his own things into the room next door. No one had been in what Spike thought of as his mother's room since.

Spike pushed the door open, breathing in the lingering scent of perfume that he had sprayed over the bed and clothes and carpets. For a moment, he let the memories wash over him, each crashing like a wave on rocks, beautiful yet oh so painful. He caught himself before the tears began to build up in earnest, steeling himself. That was William, not Spike. Spike was tough and strong. That was who he was now.

"This, uh..." he began, his voice thick with unshed tears. He cleared his throat and began again. "This is your room. If you want it, that is. There are other rooms if you'd like to see them. This is the nicest one though," he babbled nervously. He had never had to face the parents of a partner before; Liam’s mom was never around and his dad, like Rupert, spent the majority of his time at work. When he looked at Jessica, all he could think was ‘I’ve seen your son naked’. It wasn’t conducive to good conversation. 

“It’s very nice, thank you,” she reassured. Spike smiled. 

“The bathroom is across the hall,” he told her. “The living room is across from the kitchen, and there’s a pool outside if you feel like taking a swim.” 

Jess nodded as she took in the room. It was incredibly feminine, from the floral, lace trimmed curtains to the soft, pink and white covers on the double bed. Spike followed her line of sight, trying to see it from a female perspective and failing. 

“If you need anything, my room’s the one next to this one. So’s dad’s. On the _other_ other side that is,” he added with a confused little frown. “Dad’s made tea, if you’d like some, or I can make some coffee if you’d prefer?” 

Jess nearly laughed at the adorable nervousness that practically radiated from the blonde. “I’d love a cup of coffee, thanks.” Spike nodded and all but ran from the room, leaving Jess to her thoughts. 

*** 

Wile Spike showed Jess upstairs, Xander was facing his very own ‘meet the parents’ hell. He had met Rupert Giles before, but this was the first time they had been alone in the same room without Spike. The look on Giles’ face had gone from reassuring to, quite frankly, terrifying. 

“Now would be a good opportunity for us to have a real heart to heart, don’t you think?” Giles’ stern glare belied the calm tone. “I understand that you and William are involved--“ Xander opened his mouth to speak, but Giles raised a hand to forestall whatever would have been said. “It may not be what I expected of him, and it certainly isn’t what I wanted, but it is his choice. As his father, I naturally want what is in his best interest.” Xander nodded his understanding. Giles continued, “He may have forgiven you for the stunts you’ve pulled recently. He is young and in love; forgiveness is a natural part of that. But I am neither a teenage boy, nor am I in love with you. If you hurt him, I will be seeking retribution on William’s behalf. This is your only warning. Make sure you understand me.” 

“Yes, sir,” Xander nodded frantically, eager to show just how well he understood. Giles sat back in his seat, looking marginally more relaxed. 

“Excellent. Just remember that my opinion cannot be swayed by any amount of flowers.” Xander glanced at the vase full of long-stemmed red roses. Erring on the side of caution, he opted not to ask what the significance of either the flowers or the statement was. In fact, he had a sneaking suspicion that anything other than blatant, sycophantic agreement with the older man would be a bad thing at this moment in time. 

Luckily, Spike chose that moment to bound into the kitchen. He began rummaging through the cupboards, giving Xander a tantalising glimpse of the strip of skin between jeans and t-shirt when the blonde reached up. After a futile, if somewhat brief, search, Spike turned to Giles and frowned. 

“Where’s the coffee? I thought we had some in here somewhere?”

“Why on earth do you want coffee?” Giles asked, genuinely confused. “I’ve just made tea, and don’t roll your eyes at me.” 

“This is California, da, not England. We live off the sweet caffeine of coffee here,” Spike explained as patiently as possible. 

“We don’t have any. If you want to drink that swill, you’ll have to go and buy some. Although I really don’t understand your aversion to tea...” Spike rolled his eyes again. “Oh for goodness sakes! Go to the bloody shops!” Rupert snapped. “And pick up something for dinner too.” He offered Spike his wallet, then changed his mind, handing over his credit card instead. 

“Great,” Spike grinned, taking the offered credit card. “Xander can come with me and help chose food. Right Xan?”

“Right. Let’s go,” Xander agreed, grateful to be away from the older man’s scrutiny. Giles watched the two boys leave the room and prayed that there wouldn’t be yet another storm brewing between the two. 

*** 

Xander sat stiffly in the passenger seat of the Desoto as Spike drummed his fingers on the steering wheel in time to the song on the radio. The ‘talk’ he’d had with Spike’s dad had thrown him and he had no idea how to behave around the blonde anymore. Combined with the fact that the last real conversation he’d had with Spike had ended in a hissy fit and him being kicked out, Xander felt like he was balanced on a knife edge, unable to lean in any direction without upsetting or offending someone. 

Spike seemed oblivious to it all though, and as they pulled up at the store, he leant in to kiss the brunette. Xander hesitated for a second that felt like an hour, before responding. 

The feel of Spike’s lips on his own ignited a fire inside him. He cupped the back of Spike’s head, mapping the contours of the skull with is fingers, stroking the soft hair. Spike moaned into Xander’s mouth. It was a needy, desperate little sound that shot straight to Xander’s groin and pooled in his balls.

Spike pulled back, panting for breath, his own erection straining against the denim of his jeans. Xander’s fingers itched to touch that bulge, to stroke it and make Spike moan again. Before he had a chance to reach out though, Spike caught his writ and brought the hand up to his mouth for a sweet little kiss to each of the knuckles. 

“You gunna be sharing my bed tonight? “ he asked, releasing Xander’s hand, smiling  naughty little smile at the brunette. 

“Your dad would kill me if I did,” Xander replied with a sad shake of his head. Spike didn’t seem put off. 

“Who I share my bed with isn’t decided by him. It’s between you and me, ain’t it? What do ya say, pet?” He gave Xander a heated look. “Think about it while we shop?” Spike gave his own version of the dreaded puppy dog eyes and Xander melted. He was a sucker for the puppy dog eyes. 

“Shit, Spike. Do you have to do that, you evil thing? That’s emotional blackmail.” Spike grinned unrepentantly. 

“No, you’re just unable to resist my sinister attraction and rapier-like wit. Don’t worry, I’m sure there are support groups all over the county that can help you,” he laughed, getting out the car. Xander followed, laughing too. 

*** 

“So what do you want to eat tonight?” Spike asked. Xander shrugged noncommittally as they found their way to the food section of the massive store. Spike led them past the rows of kettles and fridge-freezers, past the stand advertising ‘The Definitive Biography of JFK’, and into the wonderful land of chiller cabinets packed with frozen pizzas, pies and ice cream. 

Xander picked up a pepperoni pizza, wondering if he had enough to buy food as well as clothes. Neither he nor his mom had so much as a spare pair of socks between them. 

Spike ended Xander’s internal debate by taking the box from hi hands, waving Rupert’s credit card and grinning. “We’re on the dad’s dime now. He never checks his credit card bill unless there are amounts over, like, a thousand dollars.” As if proving a point, he dropped a tub of Ben and Jerry’s into the shopping cart along with a box of veggie burgers. “I’ll go find coffee while you pick something for your mum to eat.”  

And with that, Xander was left alone in the aisle, staring at frozen food. 

*** 

Spike al but skipped round the corner of the aisle. Life was good; he had his boyfriend living with him, swim practice started again in a little under a week and he had a golden opportunity to prove himself to Xander’s mum by cooking dinner. Of course, his culinary skills weren’t a million miles from his dad’s, but he could handle grilling burgers and heating up a frozen pizza…

His good mood died when he spotted another tall brunette, one less welcome in his life than the one currently waiting back in frozen foods, puzzling over packets of coffee. Even as Spike began looking for an escape route, Liam looked up. Their eyes met and all hope of slipping away without confrontation died. 

“Spike!” 

Liam’s face lit up like all his birthdays and Christmases had come at once. Striding over to Spike, he slung one muscular arm over the blonde’s shoulders and steered them back towards the shiny packets. It was just Spike’s luck that Liam would be right where he himself needed to be. 

Trying unsuccessfully to extract himself from Liam’s iron grasp, Spike settled instead for glaring menacingly at his ex. “What do you want, you great pillock?” he spat. 

“Spikey! I’m wounded!” Liam simpered in response, chuckling at his own humour. “I just thought maybe you could help me. You see, my great aunt is visiting and she’s sent me to buy tea and coffee. Now, coffee I know about,” he picked up a jar of ground beans from the shelf to illustrate his point, “but you, my little English crumpet, are the tea expert.” The fake accent made Spike cringe. 

“You don’t have a great aunt. And you expect me to believe we just happened to have bumped into each other? I know you Liam. Y’know, I wouldn’t put it past you to have been waiting all evening on the off chance I’d be here.” Spike grabbed an identical jar of coffee to the one Liam was holding off the shelf and shrugged out of the semi-embrace. He was half way back down the aisle, intent on returning to Xander when the other boy spoke. 

“Did you like the flowers, Spike?” Spike stopped walking. “Don’t forget that I know you too. I’ve read your poetry. And I didn’t laugh like _some_ people did. Sooner or later, you’re going to wake up and realise that no one else can give you what I can. You’ll always be mine, Spike.” 

Liam turned ion his heel and left, the sound of his laughter trickling through Spike’s veins like acid. 


End file.
